Getting a share house during the summer months may sound like a dream come true: You and your closest friends are coming together to plan what is supposed to be a great vacation.
But once you get there, there's a whole set of problems you didn't even think of.
The whole ordeal of securing the house is a process in and of itself, and one that causes stress even before you reach your destination.
Sure, you may sound bratty complaining about these things as you were fortunate enough to secure a house -- but isn't complaining cathartic?
Here are all of the struggles and tribulations you face when taking part in a share house:
1. Finding a bed to sleep in
By the time you actually need to fall asleep, chances are all the good spots have been taken, which only results in you waking up like this.
But you really don't mind because your intoxicated mindset is telling you that anywhere will suffice. Better luck tomorrow night...
2. Avoiding drama
Having a house full of male and female friends just sounds like a recipe for drama. I mean, how could you not encounter this when everyone is spending the better part of the day inhaling alcohol?
It's okay, just apologize even if you don't mean it to preserve the peace and move along...
3. Sharing two bathrooms with 10+ people
Sharing bathrooms with members of the opposite sex will never, under any circumstance, be fun, enjoyable or tolerable.
The females have an endless supply of beauty products that will take over the counter space; they will also spend at least an hour doing their hair, essentially preventing any male from entering.
Men, on the other hand? You may need a gas mask before entering.
4. Everyone should be cleaning, which results in either one person cleaning or no one cleaning at all
Typically, the house will just accumulate trash until someone reaches the breaking point, goes manic and cleans every single surface.
After this, said person will address the entire house regarding its disgusting state. This will result in a minimal amount of people feeling guilty enough to clean the entire house daily.
5. Figuring out who is responsible for the food and alcohol
But I don't eat meat... but I don't drink tequila... but I'm allergic to gluten...
Okay, maybe the gluten-free chick has some sort of say in this process, but as for everyone else, throw your money in and just appreciate that someone is going shopping for you.
There is no nickel and diming when you are in a share house, you throw in your money and any change goes to communal food and liquor.
6. Traveling to the actual destination
How are you going to get to this remote location? Plane? Train? Automobile? Or do you have to travel by a few modes -- like a cab to the train to the ferry?
Planning is never easy; this is especially true if following directions isn't your strong suit.
If you're that person, always travel with the group that's been to the location before and you're all set.
7. Shacking up with couples
There's nothing that makes you feel quite as bad as when you have to share a room with a couple or (even worse) multiple couples.
Aww, look how nice and cozy they are squishing in the twin size bed so that we single folk can squish our platonic relationships in the queen size bed. I'd sleep on the floor if it meant not being single... just kidding (sort of).
8. Having random people crash
So I just paid over $300 so you could have some random person crash at the house? Oh, he just happened to be here this weekend also? With nowhere to stay?
Right, that makes sense. He better make me breakfast tomorrow morning.
9. Getting back your security deposit
There is a 50/50 chance of receiving your security deposit back -- and the odds are diminishing with every hole a guy knocks into a wall.
But if you do survive and make it out with little to no apparent damage, well congratulations, you have officially won the weekend.
10. Leaving your stuff... never to be seen again
I'm not sure which you have a better chance of losing: your clothing items or your security deposit. Don't ever bring that favorite shirt because it will either get spilled on or lost.
I'm not sure which option is worse.
11. Deciding, as a group, where to go out
Getting a double-digit amount of people to decide on one thing is difficult enough, trying to agree when you're drunk is a whole other story.
The fact that you were even able to pick a weekend that worked out for everyone was a struggle enough, which brings us to...
12. Paying for it/the entire process
This encompasses picking a weekend, rejecting that weekend, repeating that cycle four more times, then dividing the house and telling each person what's owed.
Someone will always complain and try and haggle the price, despite the fact that this person has put little to no effort (other than complaining) into the entire process.
PS: Shout out to you, Venmo, for making this all possible.
Did you think you weren't going to contribute to the joint bar tab? Or the food tab? Or clean?
So you basically just paid the bare minimum to be included, but aren't going to bring anything to the table?
Good luck getting invited to anything ever again.
14. Fitting 10 people in a 20 person house
The only way anyone our age can afford a share house is by squishing as many people in it as possible. What does this mean?
The bigger beds are given to the singles since they can squish, while the smaller beds are reserved for couples who won't mind sleeping on each other, literally.
Couches and the floor are other less desirable, but still optimal, sleeping locations because the alternative would be outside. See how lucky you all really are?
15. Figuring out where you can be "alone"
If you want some quality "alone" time with another person, you are going to have to get creative in a share house.
Chances are there are no private rooms and even if there were, "The Jersey Shore" taught us never to take advantage of them.
16. Noise complaints and cops
There is one thing that noise complaints lead to... and that is the police. And what do the police lead to? Unwarranted, bullsh*t arrests...
Photo Courtesy: MTV/ Jersey Shore