If there is only one truth in this life, it is that we are all going to die one day. But if there are two truths, the second one is that we all do really embarrassing things in relationships.
People are always saying relationships "bring out the best in you," but the reality is the exact opposite.
When you spend all your time with a person who thinks every single thing you do is amazing (even if you can burp the whole alphabet), then you start behaving in entirely unacceptable ways.
One time I accidentally called my girlfriend by her pet name in public, and people were visibly weirded out (if you're wondering, the pet name is “Young Helen Mirren Image Search" because she's pretty and talented).
But some people definitely take it to the next level. Some people descend so deep into relationship awfulness that it's unlikely they'll ever crawl back out.
So, here are a bunch of pictures of terror-couples that are way worse than you to make you feel better about your gross, dumb relationship.
This picture is more depressing than the War of 1812.
No. Couples who poop together just get their poo pics put on Elite Daily articles, and then hopefully break up.
At least they're wearing underwear.
They share everything.
He explored her craters once, but he never chose to go back.
"Baby let's take a picture in a hammock and then Photoshop the moon and earth onto our faces, amen."
At least you don't have matching tattoos.
Unlike the couple in this apparently Criss Angel-inspired wedding.
Come on, think ahead people. If you lose even ONE finger, this is totally ruined.
And if by any chance they lose the "U" and the "M," they'll have "So Late." And then what if they get a little scar above the "E" pinky? Then it'll say "So Laté," which would be WEIRD.
And matching outfits are even worse.
You need to be VERY careful where you stand while wearing this shirt. A tip: Don't go to any museums that involve United States history before the Civil War.
Couple's jerseys are the first sign of the apocalypse.
If they ever switch places, a black hole will form.
Seriously, the end is nigh.
The "b*tch" is silent.
If you vomit in your mouth and then swallow it back down, it doesn't count right?
They're in the right aisle.
If you wore matching outfits, but didn't take a picture with a selfie stick, did you ever wear matching outfits at all?
The answer is "no."
Then there is this couple, that is happy so long as they have double-digit Instagram likes.
I can't tell if this is a face swap or not.
They're also the kind of couple that does this kind of horribleness.
This is far from the only picture out there like this, and that makes me sad.
Looks like God has been switching the heads of his action figures again.
This picture is like those pictures of smoker's black shriveled lungs... but for souls.
Of course, public displays of affection are probably the biggest pitfall for the terror-couples.
Jack and Rose made it to shore after all.
There's no bigger aphrodisiac than a crowded subway car.
Please look at the lady's face in the bottom right corner.
This is the most upsetting trend of all.
Does this count as porn?
They've even started making special coats for it.
Seriously, is this porn or not?
Her hand was cold, so she found the warmest, grossest part of him to heat it up.
"Baby, I think I got some doodie I forgot to wipe," he said. "Oh I'll get that for you, Hercules," she responded.
And then, of course, there's this lovely public OTPHJ.
Fun fact: This is the exact moment the girl on the right decided to drop of out of college.
But in the end, all the previous couples pale in comparison to this gruesome duo.
They had about as much chemistry between them as a three-legged dog has with a used tampon. As long as you are not one of these two specific human beings, you're good.
So, go enjoy yourself. After all, a lot of people are a lot worse than you.
Never forget.
