After finally deciding the whole "Roman numeral" thing was more trouble than it was worth, Super Bowl 50 will be played this Sunday t0 answer the question on everyone's mind: What will be this year's equivalent of last year's Left Shark?
I guess we'll also figure out who's going to be named this year's NFL champion, but I think most people would agree that's more of a bonus than anything else.
There's a pretty good chance you'll end up at some sort of Super Bowl gathering on Sunday night, even if you're not a Broncos/Panthers/football/sports/national-topics-of-conversation fan.
After all, who wants to miss out on the one time a year when an entire nation takes culinary inspiration from the appetizer section of a T.G.I Friday's menu and decides there's nothing wrong with getting blackout drunk on a Sunday.
Regardless of your level of fandom, there are plenty of ways to have fun during the Super Bowl. Some people prefer to focus on the commercials, but there's only one thing I really look forward to every year: prop bets, which are essentially wagers having almost nothing to do with the game itself.
This year, people can bet on the color of the celebratory Gatorade bath (always go orange) or the length of Lady Gaga's national anthem, but if you need even more things to foolishly bet on, look no further than the list below.
Will Lady Gaga wear a dress made of bald eagle feathers while singing the national anthem?
Yes: 2/1 No: 8/1
How many times someone will someone say, "Be quiet! The commercials are on!" at your gathering over the course of the game?
Over-Under: +/- 7
How many times will CBS use B-roll of streetcars going up hills in San Francisco when cutting back from commercial?
Over-Under: +/- 5
What will be the first animal to show up in a Budweiser ad?
A Clydesdale horse: 3/1
A puppy: 7/2
An older dog that lives on a farm somewhere in the Midwest: 14/1
A zebra: 30/1
How many times will Phil Simms forget about one of the most fundamental aspects of football?
Over-Under:: +/- 19
Will Chris Martin’s nipple inadvertently appear at some point during the halftime show?
Chris Martin will willingly take off his shirt at some point: 2/7
If Beyoncé is joined on stage by the other former members of Destiny's Child, who will be this year's Left Shark?
Kelly Rowland: 2/1
Michelle Williams: 28/3
Left Shark will make his triumphant return, devouring everyone on stage and claiming the spotlight yet again: 783/2
Will Bruno Mars wear a hat that somehow makes you hate him even more than you already did?
No bets. The answer is yes.
Which drink will end up pushing you over the edge?
A celebratory shot: 3/2
Your seventh Bud Light: 7/1
A glass of that wine someone brought for some reason: 14/1
How many current dance trends will Cam Newton manage to incorporate into his celebrations?
Over-Under: +/- 4
How many white people will subsequently tweet Cam Newton is "classless"?
Will you regret everything you did when you wake up for work on Monday?