In college, you learn three things: drinking, what to do with boners and how to pretend you know what you're talking about -- in that precise order.
This is no surprise, but it's time we got some hard numbers on the issue -- the drinking issue, not the boner issue, which I'm sure you can agree is quite hard enough as is.
Thankfully, a website called CollegeStats.org was up to the task. The site made it its mission to track which schools are doing the most drinking. The data source? Twitter.
As the site put it,
Using location data attached to tweets about alcohol and drinking, we analyzed how often these tweets occurred in the areas surrounding thousands of colleges across the country.
Basically, the site gathered all the drunk tweets in the country and found out which schools have the most and least drunk tweeting going on.
The results might surprise you.
They might be little Einsteins over there, but students at MIT are drunk tweeting the most out of all mid-sized American schools.
According to this study, MIT had 0.1977 drinking-related tweets per student, and the school had one of the highest frequencies from any size school.
Here is an example of one of these tweets:
M = EC^2!! #jimbeam
Oh, and out of the Ivy Leagues, Brown is number one on that drunk Twitter, and Dartmouth is nerd city.
But don't worry, Brown still drinks nowhere close to MIT.
The Ivy League should not be confused with the Justice League or League of Legends -- which are actually important.
Another surprising one: the most well-behaved "wannabe" Ivy League? Duke University.
I wanna write, "More like 'puke,'" but the school is actually doing the least amount of that.
And here it is, the best of the best. The top school (of any size) for drunk tweeting.
Wesleyan had 1.5 times the amount of drunk tweeting as MIT. These stats led me to believe smart kids just like to talk a big game on Twitter.
Check out more of these stats on the website. You might see your school listed.