An Australian woman identified as Shae Miller got drunk one sunny afternoon.
The story could have ended there. Luckily for us, it did not.
No, Shae Miller's drunkenness was not swept under the rug of time and forgotten. Instead, it was immortalized on live television... Channel 9, to be specific.
Phil Willmington was giving a report to Channel 9 News when Shae Miller passed by. Seeing him, she sprung – much like a superhero in a summer dress – to action.
She was on a mission. So, after witnessing the opportunity to do a good deed, she walked up to the rolling news camera and explained to Mr. Willmington that she needed his help.
“Channel 9," she explained. "I think you need to know, somebody has lost... THREE dollars."
After her excited declaration, she placed the wallet in question into the anchor's pocket.
However, Shae took his blank stare to mean he did not understand the simplicity of her Good Samaritan intentions. So, she elaborated on her request.
"Could you FIND THAT to the RIGHTFUL owner?!"
Her interesting grammar can be attributed to her passion when it comes to returning lost objects to their rightful owners.
Mr. Willmington explained he didn't think he'd be able to find the person whose wallet it was.
At this point, Shae's completely amoral friends got in the way of justice and tried to pull her away from her solemn mission.
She did not like them doing this at all. But most of all, she was disappointed in Channel 9.
"No, it's important. HOW DARE YOU?!"
She expected so much more from them. Once again, the mainstream media has let us down.
"CHANNEL 9, HE NEEDS TO KNOW!"
Unfortunately, she was ushered off by her male companions, who wished to silence her.
Presumably, she then went about her business and continued to carry around a wallet that didn't belong to her.
It's what all the experts say you're supposed to do when you find something someone has lost: Take it and carry it away.