This Sloth's Glorious Selfie Stick Photo Just Broke The Internet

Sloths: Not even biologists can explain how they've survived this long. Their only defensive characteristic is their name, which – if I'd never heard the word before – I would've just assumed is what people call something when vomit and feces are combined.

If these animals moved 20 percent faster, they'd be gross and terrifying. I mean, let's be honest: Sloths have the face of Steve Buscemi and the claws of a raptor.

But we can't help but be obsessed with them. Apparently, we love anything that moves slowly enough to be helpless.

Plus, they photograph well.

One Imgur user, who was wielding a selfie stick for a good reason for the first time in the history of this planet, captured this sloth in a moment of ultimate repose.

This sloth looks like it just finished having sex with Aphrodite, while simultaneously eating a large bowl of macaroni and cheese.

This sloth looks like it sold all its stocks right before the recession hit in 2008.

This sloth looks exactly like how LeBron James feels right now.

Now, before this picture gets meme'd into oblivion, I've decided to take a crack at what this slow-motion, emaciated bear might've been thinking during this photoshoot.

These results are based on very careful and extensive research.

Possibility 1 (Very Likely):

Possibility 2 (Extremely Likely):

Possibility 3 (Absurdly Likely):

Possibility 4 (This Is What Happened):