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Saddam Hussein Wrote A Book That Was Described As 'GOT' Meets 'House Of Cards'

Remember that guy who we went to war against for no reason, then found in a hole, and then executed?

Well, before all that happened, he wrote a book. Because when you are a psychotic genocidal dictator (who Donald Trump has lots of nice things to say about), you get very bored. So, allegedly to combat said boredom, Saddam Hussein wrote a book.

And it's now being translated to English for the first time. It is set to be released by Hesperus in December of this year, in line with the 10-year anniversary of us hanging him. (That happened, in case you forgot.)

Apparently, he finished the book just before the Iraq war in 2003. This means that this book might give us a glimpse into the state of mind he was in while he was being nonsensically coy about not having weapons of mass destruction.

The book has been published in several languages already, with titles that included “Get Out, You Damned One,” “Begone Devils” and “Leave Me Alone, Guys!” (That last one is not real.)

It is allegedly about – as the Guardian puts it – “a tribe living by the Euphrates river 1,500 years ago, which ousts an invading force.”

Basically, he wrote a fan fiction set 1,500 years in the past, about what was to happen in his future.

This new publisher has described the book as “a mix between 'Game of Thrones' and the UK 'House of Cards'-style fiction.”

Are you so curious you can't think straight? Me too.

Well, don't worry. Because I've acquired a short, leaked passage from the book. Check it out below:

Lord Commander Maddas Niessuh, whose mustache was more beautiful than Melisandre's boobs, turned to his fleet of dragons and gave the order to attack the invading army of ice zombies wearing cowboy hats. But he had to tell the dragons many times to go attack because the dragons were too distracted by how big Maddas Niessuh's penis was to listen. To be more aerodynamic, Maddas Niessuh never wore pants to battle. Then, Jon Snow arrived and accidentally introduced himself to Madras Nissan's penis because the penis was so big, he thought it was a person.

– "Leave Me Alone, Guys!" Page 140

Unfortunately, that's all I was able to find. You'll have to read the rest when it comes out.