Sure, the infamous "Pizza Rat" was caught sneakily navigating down a flight of NYC subway stairs with a stolen slice that didn't belong to him, but he's looking pretty innocent now compared to these gluten-obsessed rodents.
Two huge rats were recently filmed playing tug-of-war with a massive churro, and they're giving #PizzaRat a run for his money (or pizza, rather).
Picture this: You're standing on a subway platform on your way to work. You casually glance down at the tracks only to find two rats having a McGregor vs. Mayweather-style battle over a damn pastry.
Insane, I know... Luckily for us, the entire brawl was caught on camera for our enjoyment. Who knew churros could cause this much drama?!
The hilarious 40-second clip begins with the rats tussling underneath the subway tracks.
Seconds later, it turns out it's not just a minor scuffle... IT'S WAR!
They're actually fighting over a churro bigger than both of them.
IT'S GOING DOWN!
This is a close one.
At one point, one of the quick-thinking rats pulls a sneak attack on his opponent and snatches the churro.
Eventually, one of the hangry rats makes off with the churro and scurries away across the tracks. The second churro-craving rodent then follows suit.
Here's the full video.
As you can see, the lucky person filming the churro brawl wasn't ballsy enough to jump into the tracks and catch the rest of the fight, but I'm going to assume Pizza Rat popped up and tried to keep the peace.
Unfortunately, we'll never really know who came out on top here. I think it's safe to assume that churro was big enough to feed every single rat between 96th street and Times Square, though.
Calm down, Remy Flounders, there's more than enough to go around.