Pokémon Go, since it came out 24 seconds ago, has become a way of life. It has permeated modern life more efficiently than weaponized cholera.
Really though, the closest corollary to it is a zombie virus — there suddenly came a day when packs of wandering, silent figures, migrated blank-faced from place to place, searching endlessly, hungrily for something you can't see.
And it's amazing.
They will teach Pokémon Go in history classes hundreds of years from now — it will have its very own chapter (sandwiched between "The World Wars of the 20th century" and "President Trump's century-long blood orgy").
The thing is, how can we combine the fun of catching Pokémon with that other extremely fun thing we all like to do: being drunk?
Seriously, how do we do that? Help us figure it out? Please mail your important suggestions to:
Elite Daily (care of Alec "Hot Bod" MacDonald) 420 Blazeblunts Boulevard, Apt 69 New York, NY, 42069.
I eagerly await your correspondences. But for now, let me offer a suggestion: a Pokémon Go drinking game!
Yes, I used the 20 or so years of expensive education my parents paid for to come up with a drinking game for a smartphone app.
Please enjoy. If you don't, feel free to send howlers to the above address.