11 Notes From Neighbors Who Are Tired Of Loud Sex

By

When you live in an apartment building, you tend to learn a lot about the people who live around you -- even if you're the kind of neighbor who avoids making eye contact whenever you're forced to pass someone on the stairs.

I never formally introduced myself to anyone who lived in my old building, but I could tell you my next-door neighbor's diet consisted solely of the smelliest fish on the market, and, based on the constant banging, the people who lived above me assembled IKEA furniture for a living.

Of course, that's just a small sample of the many issues you get to deal with when forced to live in unnaturally close proximity to other people.

While the banging might have been annoying, it was definitely more preferable than being forced to listen to people bang each other when I'm just trying to listen to the expertly written dialogue coming out of the mouths of the artfully crafted characters on "Castle."

If you ever find yourself in this situation, there is one (and only one) solution: Leave a passive aggressive note on your neighbor's door. If you're not sure what to write, feel free to use these for guidance.

She's just looking out for the other girl. How incredibly thoughtful and selfless.

Imgur

Who can say no to that dinosaur (besides people who really hate Larry the Cable Guy)?

Imgur

As the old saying goes: If you can't beat em', try to join em' so you don't have to beat it. I might be paraphrasing.

Imgur

Perv.

Imgur

Getting possessed by a demon is no excuse for not being courteous to your neighbors.

Imgur

The fact "torture" was the first thing listed makes me wonder exactly what this person thinks people say when they're getting tortured.

Imgur

Well, this certainly demonstrates the diversity of the word.

Imgur

I mean, some people are pretty into that kind of stuff. If that's the case, everybody wins!

Imgur

Some people are also pretty into this kind of stuff. Let's hope this didn't encourage them.

Imgur

Well, I guess that solves both of the problems we just covered.

Imgur

It's also important -- possibly even more important -- to keep it down when arguing about the STDs you got from your noisy sex.

Imgur