Person Writes Hilarious Letter To Neighbors Who Have Really Loud Sex

I heard rumors about people my age who can somehow afford to live in real, actual houses (just like in the movies!), but I spent most of my adult years living in apartment buildings surrounded by people who are waiting for the day the "dream" part of the American Dream becomes reality.

You might think you'd learn a lot about your neighbors when you live in such close proximity, but the reality -- at least in the cities I've called home -- is you really only get to know them based on the packages they get in the mail and the noises you hear over the wall.

Because of this, you might accidentally learn about the television shows your neighbors like, how dependent they are on Amazon and way, way too much about what they like in the bedroom.

One person got to learn more than any person (barring anyone who lives near a sex offender) ever wants to know about his or her neighbor's sexual preferences and decided to employ whatever the opposite of a passive-aggressive note is to try and rectify the situation.


The note reads,

It's cool and all that you're getting laid and stuff, but the bed squeaking is getting really annoying... I'm just asking you to find a way to make the bed a little bit quieter... I'm trying to be cool about it but one of the people that live hear [sic] is ready to make a noise complaint or something because it happens so late at night... To show that we are cool with you getting laid, we have included some condoms for you to use.

Is there a chance this is a carefully composed photo posted by someone in the marketing department at Durex to take advantage of the Internet's obsession with anything involving sex? Absolutely.

If it isn't, Durex can send me a check for my fantastic idea at its earliest convenience.

Citations: This Is How You Politely Tell Your Neighbors Their Sex Is Too Loud (Cosmopolitan)