15 Couples Who Hooked Up In The Least Sexy Places Imaginable

The most exciting place I've ever made out in is my car, parked outside of an out-of-business Chuck E Cheese's.

But when I think of people making out in unlikely but exciting places, though, I usually picture something like this:

That's from the first "Spider-Man" movie -- before Andrew Art Garfunkle came around with his fabulous bobbing hair and a backpack slung over a single shoulder -- and, if you were wondering, this is officially the hottest make-out scene in cinematic history.

If you think the big kiss scene in "The Notebook" is superior, let me remind you that, although that scene also takes place in the rain, the characters in it are both blatantly standing on the ground, and no one has a sexy mask on.

For the rest of us -- us normal, gross, clumsily horny weirdos who have deluded ourselves to think we are as cool and sexy as people with amnesia or spider-biology -- well, we do making out in a slightly different way: really, really badly.

Please take a look at the evidence of this, which I've collected for your eyes only, below. Warning: There is some light public butt-fingering, which I included just to be safe.

Here we find two human adults, sucking on one another's food-holes while in a children's playground.

But no place could ever be sexier than our culture's unofficial, impromptu vomit and sh*t repository: the New York City subway.

Bathrooms are sexy, right? I mean, to be fair, they do see a lot of d*cks.

"Nothing turns me on more than being surrounded by sweaty dudes writing screenplays."

Now I'm not a sociologist, but I think this technically qualifies as a threesome.

Making out in a park on a cloudy day, surrounded by people walking somberly home as the day ends, is maybe the most existentially depressing out of all of these for me.

Yeah, just lean on that lady while you trade tongue bacteria -- yeah, that's hot.

These two really know how to choose a place where no one will be watching them.

Computer labs are ostensibly quite sexy, actually. You know, all that access to porn and Rihanna music videos. I'm sure you can paint a vivid mental picture.

Oh and by the way, I wasn't lying about the public butt-fingering trend.

Here we find a happy, affectionate couple, shopping for DIY butt plugs at Walmart.

And another strolling through the streets of the city that never sleeps! (Fun fact: It used to sleep, but then it saw this picture and can't anymore).

But it always comes back to this. We can't seem to get enough of PDA in weird, sad places.

It spans across the globe, including all cultures, creeds and species.

I guess when it comes down to it... you just gotta do what you gotta do.