Guy Is Trying To Raise $1.2 Billion On Kickstarter So He Can Buy It

I once met a dog named Hitler.

Hitler threw up on my rug after her owner (yes, it was a female dog named Hitler) brought her into my house. I was trying to sell him a couch through Craigslist.

Now, I can think of a lot of bad dog names -- Smallpox or Miley Cyrus, for example -- but Hitler definitely wears the king's crown.

Don't you wish there was someone out there who could help these naming-challenged humans living among us?

Aaron Schlechter decided he wanted to help people name their dogs (something he claimed he's excellent at), so he started a Kickstarter campaign. His funding goal was $3,700.

Aaron made these beautiful drawings for the campaign... know, to inspire and excite donors.

Unfortunately, Kickstarter informed him that in order to meet its campaign guidelines, he would have to make an actual product -- like a book of dog names, for example. He couldn't raise money to just start naming dogs, in general.

If he didn't comply with this request, Kickstarter said it would be forced to take his campaign down.

So, in protest, Aaron did what any of us would do.

He started a Kickstarter... to buy Kickstarter.

Although he doesn't have an official campaign page yet, this note, posted to Reddit, explains his plan to raise $1.2 billion to purchase the website and forever change its exclusionary policies.

So get out there and DONATE, people. It's time we change these disgusting anti-vague-dog-naming campaign rules.

I mean, do you really want to let THIS dog be named Ikea?

Do something about it, then.

Citations: A man wants to raise $1.2 billion on Kickstarteru2026 to buy Kickstarter (Metro)