When I was a kid, I used to watch "Forrest Gump" on repeat.
One day, I watched the entire movie four times in a row while eating a dozen Eggo waffles and just loving the sh*t out of life. But, some people aren't like me.
For one Tinder user, not knowing the plot of "Forrest Gump" had some embarrassing consequences. In fact, it is now my job as an Internet writer to help embarrass her.
Let's begin, then.
Blake, 24, decided it'd be a good idea to make his Tinder profile one big reference to the seminal film.
Apparently, people on Tinder smoke a lot of weed. That is the only thing I can deduce from this genius. Also, someone write a letter to the emoji gods: We need a ping pong emoji STAT.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, meet Arianna.
When she says, "I'm like really sorry," that is, like, the most honest apology I've ever heard, and my dad once killed my puppy by stepping on it by accident.
Turns out, they both have fake 3-year-old sons.
How lovely it must be to be a world-renowned runner, ping pong player and Medal of Honor winner who is rich off shrimp bucks. Nothing seems weird about that to Arianna.
He even managed to seamlessly throw a "you never know what [you're] gonna get" into the conversation.
I hope things worked out between these two lovers.