Last month, the Internet was flooded with posts featuring people who drastically underestimated how prepared they were to take on St. Patrick's Day. But, none of those examples compare to a story that surfaced this week.
Police in Washington DC are offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who can help them track down the man who broke into a Five Guys franchise on Irving Street and fired up the griddle to cook a burger between 3 am and 5 am on March 18.
The man reportedly managed to infiltrate the burger joint by slipping in behind a delivery guy as he entered the restaurant.
The burglar apparently bided his time there before saving the $11 you somehow always manage to spend at Five Guys by helping himself to a bottle of water and a freshly cooked burger.
While there's no actual proof the crime was motivated by the insatiable urge for greasy food most people develop after they spend a few hours sipping Guinness with shots of whisky, I've watched enough "Law & Order" reruns to know how to piece the evidence together.