What do you call a guy with a beard, man-bun, flannel shirt, boots and an axe? A lumbersexual, of course!
Ah, lumbersexuals, a type of guy defined by the always-reliable Urban Dictionary as: "A sexy man who dresses in denim, leather and flannel and has a ruggedly sensual beard."
If you're not on board with this trend yet, you will be soon.
Would a lumbersexual leave the house in baggy jeans and an oversized flannel? Of course not. He'd rather drink a non fair trade tea than wear something that isn't flatteringly fitted and tailored to perfection. And who could blame him?
The fashion-conscious lumbersexual knows he looks good, which makes him feel good and, in turn, gives him the confidence he needs to open that craft micro-brewery he's been dreaming about, or that food truck that only serves organic, bacon-forward dishes.
See? When a lumbersexual takes pride in his appearance, it turns him into a confident, self-assured man who brings us things like niche whiskey distilleries, community chicken co-ops, tweed clothing lines, cold-brew coffee shops that soak each bean for 31.5 hours and locally sourced, handcrafted beard-oil companies.
Now I can't help but wonder: Are lumbersexuals nothing more than hipsters who've evolved? Regardless, the evidence is clear. Put flannels, beards, axes, man-buns/braids and boots together, and what do you get? The best goddammed fashion trend ever to happen to mankind.
Below are four reasons lumbersexuals light up our lives (and why they should light up yours, too).
1. Men look mighty fine in flannel (and plaid).
There's just something about a man in flannel that says, “I'm rugged and I'm stylish, but I also like to snuggle.”
Yep, it's safe to assume that flannel-wearing lumbersexuals enjoy camping (not on the ground, yuck), can start a fire with nothing more than a hard piece of wood and their inexplicably soft hands and not only majored in being Big Spoon, but also went on to get master's degrees and PhDs.
2. A beard makes everything better.
Whether it's just a lil' scruff or a full-on, balls-to-the-wall beard, a man with facial hair screams, “Yeah, gurl, I might manscape, but don't get it twisted. I'm still macho AF.”
(Example: He'll go antiquing with you but then insist on carrying your new shabby-chic living room table up to your second-floor apartment with one hand.)
3. Axes are a flattering accessory.
Much like a hipster's glasses, the lumbersexual's axe is just for show.
Is it concerning to see a man carrying around an axe… or is it sexy? Well, that's a debate for another day.
For now, as long as the axe isn't used for serial-killer-related activities, I say bring it to brunch. Take it on a date. Use it to chop the watermelon you bought at the farmers' market downtown. It's not frightening -- it's functional fashion.
4. Boots and man-buns are a beautiful combination.
Why does the lumbersexual always wear boots? What, you really think flip-flops are going help him if he's called into combat or if he decides to take an impromptu hike?
And that man-bun (or, most recently, the man-braid)? It tells the world that just because he has long, luscious locks doesn't mean he feels the need to show his hair off all the time. No, he simply pulls it back, takes his daily hair-skin-and-nail vitamin and leaves the house feeling confident, casual and cool.
Do you get why we lust over lumbersexuals now? Share your thoughts below.
This post was originally published on Local Lifestyle.