THE WORLD NEEDS SOME MAGIC RIGHT NOW, PEOPLE!
We are at a crossroads in our nation's history, a time when unthinkable things are happening, both good and bad.
We need an escape. We need something whimsical, something magical.
We need something like... UNICORN CHOCOLATE?!
Hell to the yes!
I'd be lying if I said for the past few weeks, I haven't thought about eating glitter just to feel magical on the inside.
Luckily, the makers of Ritter Sport have made that possible with their release of unicorn-flavored chocolate, which makes my inner Lisa Frank fan just swoon.
Forgive me for saying so, but I think I'm more excited about this than I was when unicorn toast made its appearance earlier this year, and that stuff was actually HEALTHY.
Unicorn chocolate has combined the best two things in the world: the magic of unicorns and the deliciousness of chocolate.
I mean, what are they going to tell me next? Was it salted with the tears of my enemies?
Like all things magical, unicorn chocolate is fleeting. It's limited-edition, with only 50 reported bars in circulation in the UK.
So if you're going to get some, you're going to have to hustle for it.
Let Charlie from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" be your inspiration. That kid really wanted a golden ticket.
If you're lucky enough to get your hands on one of these, they're said to taste like white chocolate with a yogurt and raspberry cassis-flavored rainbow.
I don't know what raspberry cassis is, but if it has glitter in it, I don't care if it's made of snail mucus.
While the current chances of scoring a rainbow blast of this whimsical magic are about one in a million, we're hoping it becomes a regular thing.
The world needs you right now, unicorn chocolate. The world needs you real bad.