As you've probably heard by now, rumors are abound that Taylor Swift dumped Calvin Harris because he got a Thai massage followed by a happy ending. Whether or not this story is true, it's pretty hard to ignore the implications: A new T.Swift heartbreak song could be on the horizon.
Throughout the years, we've been as privy to Taylor's personal life as she allows via subtle ("All Too Well"), pseudo-subtle ("Style") and not-so-subtle ("Dear John") singles, but it's been a while since Tay has had a tryst to publicly analyze in a catchy tune.
Anticipation has been building -- undoubtedly along with her pun repertoire and enigmatic lyric bank.
Until we're graced with her relationship's culminating manifesto (which could be never because, again, we don't know if this is actually a real thing), let's revel in the possibilities.
Below are 16 ways Taylor could title a single about breaking up with Calvin Harris.
1. "Rub Away The Pain"
2. "You Came In Handy"
3. "What About Our Happy Ending?"
4. "I Won't Lend You A Hand"
5. "Sick Of Being Jerked Around"
6. "For Another Hand To Hold"
7. "Thai-ed Up In Lies"
9. "She Did A Better Job"
10. "One Big Jerk"
11. "Only Happy Beginnings"
12. "Beat Me To It"
13. "Rubbed The Wrong Way"
14. "Too Thai-ered To Love Me"
15. "Handed Back My Love"
16. "I'm Not Happy You Came"