How quickly can you remember these verses, pop quiz?
Welcome to Sabrina Carpenter’s “wild, wild thoughts.” It’s a rather chaotic universe — one where fans are guaranteed to leave blushing or clutching their proverbial pearls. Those responses have become synonymous with her 2022 hit, “Nonsense,” in which Carpenter describes how tongue-tied she gets around her crush. Though flustered for most of the track, she delivered a cheeky outro that would later become a special gem of her tour.
In the final verse of “Nonsense,” Carpenter sings: “This song is catchier than chickenpox is / I bet your house is where my other sock is / Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop hit / How quickly can you take your clothes off, pop quiz?” Now, she’s taken her flirting to a new erotic level.
During her recent Emails I Can’t Send tour, Carpenter changed the track’s ending to fit the city she was performing in that night. Every new addition has been a tad bit unserious, ranging from wholesome one-liners like “I don’t Singapore, I sing amazing” to saucy rhymes of wanting someone to “rearrange her organs.” What an unhinged legend.
Carpenter’s humor hasn’t impressed some listeners (ahem, BBC Radio 1), but that’s not stopping her creativity. She’s carried that energy over to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour — where she’s set to be an opener until March 2024 — and her New Year’s Rockin’ Eve performance. With that commitment, she’s sure to continue her nonsense this year.
Here are the raunchiest “Nonsense” outros so far, ranked.
This is probably the tamest verse switch on the list. During her May 2023 show in Atlanta, Carpenter sang: “He hit so hard, I’m walking on a slant-a / This body is in super high demand-a / I heard they like my peaches in Atlanta.”
Lets get a bit steamier, Carpenters. At her May 13 stop in Philadelphia, the singer got playfully seductive: “Can you warm me up? I’m super chilly / I’m a bank account, boy, you should fill me / You know I got special love for Philly.”
Mood: Slightly horny, but clever. “His ex is a motel, I’m a villa / He says I taste better than vanilla / What’s your favorite city? Mine’s Manila,” Carpenter mused during her July performance in the Philippines.
We’re close to the big moments. In May 2023, Carpenter treated the Hangout Music Festival crowd to a surprise: “Old people think I’m Hannah Montana / He’s so big, I need an extra hand-a / Make some noise for Sweet Old Alabama.”
This moment is so lyrically raw that even Carpenter called it “risky.” During her time in Chicago, she cooed: “Water ain’t the only thing I swallow / I really wish I could play right here tomorrow / My favorite city is Chicago.”
Rogue or not, this one is ~chef’s kiss.~ “He took me to red light, so I ran home / That boy’s not a player, he’s a man h*e / Look so good he’s saying ‘Amster-damn bro.’”
Carpenter couldn’t end 2023 without one last “Nonsense” outro. While performing on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, the singer got a little festive: “Clark is everybody’s favorite d*ck type / Make a toast to everyone you dislike / Balls are dropping everywhere at midnight.”
Carpenter might call these endless dribbles “nonsense,” but all I hear are erotic masterpieces. During her Nov. 18 show in Rio de Janeiro, the singer brought the heat. She joked, “Boy come over, this is not a drill / He said, ‘Get on top,’ I said, ‘I will’ / Then he made me come… to Brazil!”
Welcome to the land down under. Recently, Carpenter used her opening slot on Swift’s Eras Tour to spew her steamiest nonsense — and not to mention, a couple “naurs” and “saurs.” On her Feb. 16 set in Melbourne, she sang: “D-I-C-K, I am good at spelling / Tastes so good, I need a second helping / Aren’t you glad I know how to say Melbourne.”
Everything is rumored to be bigger in Texas, and during her Mar. 25 show in San Antonio, Carpenter had that slogan in mind. She cheekily sang, “I just wanna ride him like a rodeo / But first he gotta grow it like Pinocchio / Sorry I’m so vulgar, San Antonio.”
After her three-night stint in Melbourne, she revealed a new batch of outros in Sydney. And her second night in the city (Feb. 24), she left her unfiltered thoughts on the table. She rhymed: “When you go down under, do you miss me? / He’s so big, I felt it in my kidney / Screamed so loud they heard it here in Sydney!” Ugh, her mind.
Hot take: This verse is undeniably her best one. “Please come over boy, I’m all alone-a / Come and help me, you might get a bone-a / Snapple’s not as good as Arizona.”
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