All The Orlando Bloom Movies We Will Never Be Able To Watch Again

The Walt Disney Company

You've Googled them. I've Googled them.

You screamed. I screamed.

We all screamed for Orlando Bloom's penis.

While on vacation with girlfriend Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom was spotted letting it all hang out while paddle boarding and genuinely have a grand old time.

Seemingly unaware there were cameras around, the 39-year-old actor continued to tan, paddle, climb and just do whatever he wanted. A few shots weren't going to ruin his holiday.

Thanks to his carefree nature, we are all now fully aware of what Orlando has... down there.

No matter your reaction to these images -- disgust, pleasure, shock, joy -- you'll never be able to watch the following movies the same way. Or ever again.

"The Lord of the Rings"

Any of them.

Legolas, you were my first crush. Now that image of purity is gone.

"The Hobbit"

Same thing.

"Pirates of the Caribbean"

Will Turner was never my favorite Orlando Bloom character, but at least now we know what Elizabeth Swann saw in him.


I made it through half of this movie. I'm never going to finish it now.


Ah, the only movie I ever purchased on my 3rd generation iPod nano. No plans to resurrect that vintage piece of equipment in the near future.

"The Calcium Kid"

Never saw it. Never will.

"Kingdom of Heaven"

Another classic Orlando Bloom film. Also another classic Orlando Bloom film that is now ruined.