Wait, Beyoncé is PREGNANT?
Why didn't anyone tell me?!
Hold on, maybe I did hear something about that, on every website and every social media platform I've looked at in the past 24 hours.
(In case you haven't been online or, like, talked to a person in a day: Yes, Beyoncé is pregnant. She announced it on Instagram on Wednesday. And she's having twins. It's pretty amazing.)
And then she posted an entire album of maternity photos, including some underwater pregnancy photos.
Honestly, all this hype is the way it should be. I'd expect nothing less for the pregnancy announcement of a goddess.
But now that we know Bey is expecting, there's a new question on everyone's mind: WHAT WILL SHE NAME HER BABIES?
Knowing Bey, I'm guessing the names will be both classy and unique. Have you ever met a Blue Ivy Carter who ISN'T Beyoncé's daughter? No, you haven't.
So it doesn't seem likely Bey will pick one of Nameberry.com's hottest trending baby names of 2017 for either of her precious babes.
But just in case she does want the option, I've mapped out what some of these potential new Carters might be like with one of these names.
First up, girls' names...
Tatjana Carter is the sweetest celeb child you will ever meet. She will always cough up some gum whenever anyone asks for gum.
Alizeh Carter is a straight-up baller child. She and Blue become a power sibling modeling duo. It's a running joke that there has never been an unflattering photo of Alizeh Carter.
Tahiti Carter gets really into philosophy when she's 11, but she's a little too young to fully understand it. Her tweets are almost insightful, but mostly just embarrassing.
Moana Carter loves classic rock. Her prized possession is an old Beatles shirt, and interviewers are always testing if she is a "true" Beatles fan. She aces it, every time. Don't ask about the Disney movie.
Ines Carter is a mystery. She almost never shows up on Bey's social channels, leading to a million wild online theories about her. When she's grown, she'll write a tell-all memoir of her side of the story.
And now the boys' names...
Everyone makes fun of Kyd Carter for his flamboyant fashion sense for years, but he shuts them up by dropping a Grammy-nominated album at age 19.
Benejah Carter is low-key a genius. He's a fierce civil rights activist, and unlike his mom, he's vocal about it. You have to mute him on Twitter because he just tweets too much about politics.
Sulien Carter is a little bit of a trainwreck. He has absolutely no filter in interviews and is constantly apologizing for the offensive things he says.
Koa Carter is a gentle soul. He dates a lot of people, and every time he always gets way too extra about how much he loves them on Instagram.
... Sorry I just can't do this one. In what world would Beyoncé name her son GUNTHER? Why is this a trending name?!
Whomever they end up being, I can't wait to meet these Carter twins!