*Town herald runs to highest watchtower in the town and rings the tower bell. He yells out to the village below.*
It seems like just yesterday we were getting to know Sofia Richie, the barely legal model Justin Bieber was using to fill the Selena Gomez-shaped hole in his heart. She was young, gorgeous and, most of all, clearly had Justin smitten.
That was yesterday, though. New day, new woman. Justin Bieber's girlfriends last about as long as circus goldfish. Guys, it's already Wednesday, WE CAN ALL FORGET ABOUT SOFIA RICHIE (just in this context, though, I'm sure she's a nice lady in real life.).
Everyone get to know Justin's new lady, Bronte Blampied.*
*But, like, you don't need to get to know her toooooo well, ifyaknowwhatImean. Like, I don't think this one is sticking around that long...
Justin and Bronte, who I can only assume moonlights as a demon from Viking mythology, have been spotted canoodling a bunch lately, leading many to speculate something slightly more than platonic -- but definitely not more than occasionally engaging in consensual boinking -- is going on.
Reportedly, the two were spotted hanging at a nightclub in London on Friday at V Fest.
A source who was there told PEOPLE,
Another source says even if they were going out, it likely will lead to nowhere, saying,
Here is the weird part, Bronte *hocks a wicked loogie* looks oddly similar to Sofia.
Fun fact: I switched the last two pictures and you probably didn't even know because JUSTIN IS DATING THE SAME EFFING PERSON.
So if you're wondering, we now know Justin Bieber has a type: Model.
He goes through models the same way I go through entire sleeves of Oreos.