WAKE UP, PEOPLE! WE'RE LIVING THROUGH A CLOWN EPIDEMIC, AND YOUR TOWN COULD BE NEXT!
At the moment, clowns are terrorizing virtually every college campus in America, and there have been multiple sightings across the United States.
Would you mess with his clown at Colgate? Yeah, me neither.
How about this ghoul at Penn State?
Don't worry, Missouri, there are plenty of psycho clowns out there for you, too.
Like I said, this is a nationwide epidemic, and if we don't do something soon, well, I shudder to think about what's going to happen. Are clowns going to get out and vote in November? I mean, holy shit, what's the world coming to?
Did you hear the one about the Virginia teenager who tried to hire a clown to kill her teacher? Now are you starting to understand the level of madness we're dealing with?
Apparently, three men dressed as clowns carrying weapons were recently arrested in Belmont County, Ohio, and one look at their mugshots gives you an idea of what we're working with.
Yeah, scary white dudes with weird hair freak me out, too.
Apparently, I'm not the only one who's been following the ongoing clown saga in America. After WTOV9 reporter Lauren Healy tweeted the above photos, comedian and actor Seth Rogen chimed in with his own awkward analysis of the situation.
Seth, please, tell me you're not one of these crazy clowns currently terrorizing the US because the overwhelming photo evidence definitely suggests otherwise.
Oh, dear. Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife! The clowns are here, folks, and they're not going anywhere.