Honestly, I don't wanna sound crude, but I cannot imagine a worse way to lure children into a wooden area. Everyone hates clowns, and if they don't they at least distrust them.
Regardless, imagine that you're a parent who resides at Fleetwood Manor Apartments in Greenville, South Carolina.
You notice a note hanging on your front door from your apartment's property manager.
Already you're probably nervous. Am I being evicted? Is rent being raised? Have cockroaches overrun the management, and now we must answer to them?
Then, you realize to your horror, it is worse than all three of those things...
Clowns are trying to lure your children into the woods.
The letter reminds the public that children should not be alone and should never walk through the woods by themselves at night.
It also informs residents that the Greenville County law enforcement will be conducting daily patrols due to reports of CLOWNS LURING CHILDREN INTO THE WOODS.
The letter reads:
Donna Arnold is one resident at the complex who called the Sheriff's Office after her son told her he saw clowns behind the basketball court. She told FOX Carolina,
A woman, who did not want to be identified, reported that her son saw "clowns in the woods whispering and making strange noises."
When she went to see for herself, she saw a number of clowns in the woods flashing green laser lights. They then ran away further into the woods.
Donna's husband, James Arnold, told BuzzFeed News:
Because obviously. Money, okay, maybe I'll go into the woods, but if you also flash chains and knives I'm probably going to avoid that area.
Donna says that her son has seen 10 clowns at one time.
Another neighbor, who wished to be unidentified, said that she saw a clown while walking to her house at 2:30AM on August 21. The incident report read,
Is anyone else impressed by this woman's ability to stay cool? I would literally pee myself if I saw this, not wave back.
I suspect the clown is probably just one of a number of dumb teenagers trying to have fun before school starts. If my hypothesis that these are just dumb teens is correct, picture being their parents.
You're prepared to find condoms, and you're proud they're at least practicing safe sex.
You were ready to discover drug paraphernalia and having to have that conversation with them.
But then you discover clown paraphernalia in the house, and you have to discourage them from scaring local children.
Deputies responded to a number of children who believed the clowns were staying at an abandoned home located near a pond at the end of trail in the woods.
They have investigated the house and found no suspicious activity or clown makeup.
The police have also responded to gunshots being fired at the clowns, because this is South Carolina, ya'll.