Today I learned Kris Jenner is my favorite human on this planet. Hands down, no question about it. The 61-year-old mother of 28 (how many kids does she have these days??) is my hero and the person I aspire to be. Here's how I know: the Kardashians posed for The Hollywood Reporter and Kris Jenner's face in the pic is everything.
The famous family was featured on the latest cover of the magazine and it's prob the hottest thing I've ever seen. Kylie Jenner's sultry smirk, Kim Kardashian's pouty lips, and Khloé Kardashian's bare leg planted between Kendall's thighs are just some of the reasons why I'm getting this photo blown up and glued to my ceiling. Kourtney is also there, but I'm too obsessed with her hair, bra, and face to talk about her since I'm PMSing and will get jealous.
Back to Kris Jenner. If you take a look at the cover, you'll notice Mama J is the ONLY ONE SMILING IN THE GODDAMN PIC. She looks like she has water in her mouth and is about to laugh/spit it up but also is thinking, "LOOK AT MAH SEXY DAUGHTERS, WORLD. NEVER FORGET I MADE YOU ALL." You think I'm exaggerating? I'M NOT ALONE. Everyone on Twitter sees it, too.
Khloé, Kendall, Kylie, Kim, and Kourtney: *silence* *crickets* *light moaning noise* Kris Jenner: "HEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEE"
I'm dying, I love the internet. For real though, the cover image is beautiful and all the women look stunning. Can't wait to print out 50 copies of this and paste them all over my fridge, lol.
The ladies sat down with The Hollywood Reporter to discuss how the hell the Kardashians created their empire. Kim Kardashian is my equivalent of Jesus, for crying out loud. I have a shrine of Kylie Jenner's butt in my basement. This weekend I'm getting a tattoo of Khloé Kardashian's face on my neck.
Kris Jenner reminisced about the start of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and the backlash the show initially received:
The watercooler chatter from the first episode was all about [9-year-old] Kylie jumping on a stripper pole. Kim had one installed in my bedroom and our friend Robin Anton, who is the founder of The Pussycat Dolls, was just messing around, and Kylie hops up there, twirls around a couple times, and it became this thing.
When I look back on that, I belly laugh. I have a very dry sense of humor. You either think I'm hilarious or you think I'm a b*tch.
BE MY F*CKING MOTHER, I LOVE YOU.
After that, the family's fame and popularity took off. The sisters shared stories about being chased at the airport or visiting stores and having fans flock outside.
Kris then explained the impact social media had on the family's growth and online presence:
There was barely Twitter when we started. Ryan called Kim and said, 'There's this thing called Twitter you might want to pay attention to.' The girls [began] embracing their audience and sharing their lives.
And here we are now. Kim K has KKW Beauty, Kylie Jenner crashes proms on Life of Kylie, Khloé Kardashian is the face of Good American, Kendall Jenner models in minimal clothing, and Kourtney Kardashian has a hot 23-year-old boyfriend. The family is thriving and nothing will hold them back.
The only thing they need, honestly, is me. My name starts with a K and I'll glady jump around on a stripper pole (lmao, even though no one wants to see that). KRIS JENNER, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?