We Asked Experts To Identify Every Flower Vagina In Zayn's 'Pillowtalk' Video


Zayn is ALL about botany nowadays.

The video for “PILLOWTALK,” Zayn's first music video since splitting off from 1D, dropped late last night, and we have SOOOO many questions.

Most importantly, though, what's up with that flower lady?

OK, yes. Obviously that is Mother Earth, and she is hanging out in Zayn's apartment, which is made of just colorful oils and glass pellets at the end of the world's largest kaleidoscope. Duh, we obviously got all that.

My question is more like,

How am I supposed to create a shot-for-shot remake of this video using just myself, a Handycam and some tasteful pasties without having the RIGHT flowers?

I want to give people a visual filet mignon, not slum it in the chops section of a Zayn-themed Golden Corral.

Using the help of Mark Allen Wetter, senior academic curator and collections manager in the University of Wisconsin-Madison's department of botany, and florist Alberto (no last name, like Zendaya), who runs Blooming Affairs Floral & Event Design (everyone go check out his Yelp page), I was able to get the skinny on Zayn's floral choices for the "PILLOWTALK" video.

1. Zayn's Vagina Flowers: Part One

2. Zayn's Vagina Flowers: Part Two

3. These are just like regular flowers -- oddly normcore for this mess of a video.


At the end of the day, the most important thing is we recruited a new Zayn Malik fan.

Eitan and Alberto watching Zayn. Sharing a moment.