"I had a full-body reaction to being anxious about this the whole week."
Billie Eilish did an amazing job pulling double duty on the Dec. 11 episode of Saturday Night Live. While the singer has performed on the show before, her latest appearance marked her first time performing and hosting. She seemed like a total natural on stage, but behind the scenes, the star admitted she was really nervous to show off her acting chops. During a Dec. 13 interview with SiriusXM's The Howard Stern Show, Eilish revealed she was so worried about participating in the SNL sketches that she got physically sick.
“The week preparing for SNL is f*cking nuts. It’s literally alien. I mean, I cried every single day of the week. No joke at all,” Eilish said. Even though she said she “loved” to act as a kid, she still got nervous because she was worried about what people would think of her performance. “That's not my world so I don't know what the f*ck I'm doing. I feel like I'm terrible. I feel like I suck,” she explained.
Eilish said the “craziest part” of preparing for the show was doing the table read with the cast. “I was just scared. It's SNL. It's these amazing, talented actors surrounding a table where somehow I'm the main course for this show I didn't feel qualified for,” Eilish said, adding she cried during the break from rehearsal.
At one point, Eilish said she was so “petrified” over her SNL appearance that she got sick. “I was ready to throw up. I actually did throw up because of it,” Eilish revealed. “I had a full-body reaction to being anxious about this the whole week."
Eilish said she felt better once she walked out on stage and saw the audience. “As soon as I saw the crowd and felt their joy, it was like I wasn't nervous. It was relieving,” she said, explaining it probably had to do with her love of performing. “I was like, 'Oh, this is actually really incredible, and I don't have to worry. This is just for fun.’“
Thankfully, everything worked out in the end.