This Is What Sugar Babies Can Teach You About Relationships

by Helena Negru

Some time ago I started to look closer into the elusive sugar relationships, and I found a lot about sugar girls, which I also shared in a past article. But at the same time, I couldn't resist setting up my own account as a sugar baby on one of the rich men dating sites, where an old picture of mine stirred a lot of interest, to my amazement.

However, this is not the point. The point is I found those rich men, the so-called sugar daddies, have the same high expectations from a woman as a regular guy. And it's not just me who noticed this; Nina Peterson, a 37-year-old sugar baby also says rich men have pretty much the same expectations from women as the guy next door.

Nina's story appeared in New York Post, where the woman presented her significant array of gifts she received since she dates older men. What she wanted to clearly state was the fact she's not a prostitute. In her own words:

“A sugar daddy invests in a woman that he feels has the potential to be an asset in his life. A prostitute is not an asset.”

I won't argue with that -- even if Nina's dating game earned her a house, school tuition for her two daughters, a Maserati and plastic surgery worth of $100,000. Is Nina more of a regular woman or more of a prostitute? Depends who you ask or how you look at the matter.

As we all grow up we are taught not to expect money from the men we partner with. Women are supposed to settle with the love their man can give them, as they scrub the house clean, do the laundry, the cooking and look ravishing 24/7, making themselves completely available for their partner's pleasure. Plus, she has to have a career. If she gets any gifts, they are welcomed as bonuses of the relationship.

You have this woman, who is constantly working hard to please her husband and is not allowed to ask for gifts in exchange for all her physical and emotional work.

On the other side there are sugar babies, like Nina, who work hard to maintain their good looks, please their daddies and maintain the relationship. In exchange, they demand money and gifts.

I can't help from noticing a strange hypocrisy in regular women. Can any woman say without any remorse, that they never expected their partner to spend money on gifts for her? That they never looked at a man's account before entering this strange “trial” for being a wife?

I can't! I confess I expected to receive jewelry and fine dinning from my partners. I confess I used my feminine charms to blackmail my ex into buying me an expensive pair of shoes, in exchange for sex. I know I am not the only one. This makes women like Nina simply more honest than the rest of us.

But women are not the only ones to be “blamed” for this behavior. Men are always looking to present themselves as wealthy blokes, in order to attract women. When they go out for a date, they are expected to pay everything and pretend money is not an issue for them. But when women are interested in money, things change. Women are not allowed, from a moral point of view, to be interested in expensive things. Hmmm!

Emotions are also involved in a relationship, be it a regular one or a “sugared” one. Women like Nina don't invest emotions in these relationships without demanding something. They spend time supporting their sugar daddies, pretending they don't notice the baldness and the wrinkles and they make them feel young and powerful again. If money and a young woman by his side are signs of power for a man, the woman is a lot more grounded when it comes to power: she needs to be able to support herself and her kids. This means money!

At the end of the day, Nina and her sugar peers seem to value themselves a lot more than the average woman. They know how expensive it is for a woman to do all the cleaning, cooking and provide all the support for her partner. It's expensive and emotionally, physically exhausting. For the average woman, spending several years doing all this for her partner, expecting the day when he will propose, without any return of investment is not a good deal. If the man leaves the relationship to pursue another woman, the entire deal is definitely NOT beneficial for the woman. Meanwhile, Nina and other sugar girls made sure they have a good reward for their daily efforts.

The take-away: If your relationship is not providing you with a suitable return of investment, either step up and claim your rights, or make a quick exit.