When Dealing With A Breakup, Logic Is The Only Way To Get Over It

by Jordan Lueder
Guille Faingold

He walked right past me as if I wasn't even there. I was a ghost and he saw right through me.

I stood there with my head down, my hand latched around my arm so no one could see me shaking with nerves. He didn't even look that good. I looked good: my hair was straight, my lipstick was on and my skirt was tight enough to show off my great ass.

I was still completely invisible to him.

My heart started to slightly drop and when I finally looked back to see that he was gone, it collapsed. It was over.

When you've had your heart broken, life seems dark. It's going to be hard to get up some mornings and it's going to seem like everything is passing you by while you're stuck, frozen in a feeling of emptiness, unable to participate in your usual day-to-day activities.

The person you thought would be in your life for a long time leaves and your plans for the relationship become desolate. It's natural to be upset for a week, a month, for however long it takes to grieve the loss of the future you planned with this person.

Eventually, you do have to get over them.

You have to move on and that's the hardest part of the split.

The beginning is easy, because you know how to react -- you cry, you eat a big bowl of ice cream, you listen to the song he deemed as “your song” on repeat for a couple weeks. You realize what you had is over and you get to be sad.

It's when you finally have to pick yourself up from these feelings that requires the most strength. It's the moment in between grieving and moving on, where you have to make the decision to finally let go, that everything seems 10 times harder.

You have to build up that strength not to turn around and run back into their arms if you were to see them again. You have to stop looking through their social media accounts, stop allowing yourself to daydream about them and stop hoping they'll start begging you for forgiveness or sweep you off your feet once again.

No matter how much it may seem like you want all of this to happen, the goal is to finally accept reality as it is.

The reality is this: The relationship didn't work. You two either weren't compatible, the timing was off or that person simply didn't have the ability to love you the way you deserve to be loved.

It's a matter of declaring that there's a reason it's over and so is your time to grieve about it. It's also a matter of choosing not to cry over them anymore; they aren't worth the tears.

What needs to be recognized is that a person who leaves your life, doesn't deserve to be in it anyway. A person who chooses to hurt you and leave you in the dust to grieve on your own doesn't deserve to be thought about any longer than necessary.

You can cry, drink a few extra beers on the nights you go out, fuck someone new and indulge in every sappy love song on your playlist, but realize when it's time to move on and focus your energy on better things.

Remember the lesson you've learned from that relationship, why it didn't work out, why they weren't right for you and then start doing you. When you move on, it's entirely for yourself.

Even though your heart is telling you how much you want them back, or how much you'd like to continue crying over them, finally letting go of that person is going to lead you further than holding on ever will.

Believe me: It feels so much better to remind yourself that you're better off without them, than to constantly wonder if they'll come back to you. It's more rewarding to continue building your life than to be stuck waiting for them to come back into it.

Buy yourself something nice, engross yourself in school work, make some money, start a new workout routine, plan a trip with your girls or even go on a date. Do things that will empower you and make you forget what you were even sad about in the first place.

Eventually, they'll be nothing but a part of your past that you have long forgotten. Stay strong because you will get over him.