10 Lessons I Learned From Letting Go And Being Let Go

by Tori A.

Letting go is a hard thing to do.

People crave comfort. We want to feel desired, and there’s a particular sense of safety when we are.

Whether we admit it or not, we all long for attention. This, in essence, isn’t as bad as you think. It’s a completely natural feeling.

When we're given someone’s full and consistent attention, we expect it to be there day in and day out.

We forget what it feels like not to have it.

The sheer thought of letting go of something or someone sends our minds straight into defense mode.

We all show it in different ways, but when that safe and desirable feeling is robbed from us, we panic.

How are we supposed to just let go of something that has become routine in our everyday life?

It doesn’t seem fair.

I’ve done my fair share of letting go, and I’ve had my fair share of being let go. It happens.

C'est la vie. There’s a time and place for everything and everyone in your life. Some will last forever, and some won’t be permanent.

For those who have let go or been let go, you can relate. For those who fear the thought of it, don't worry. You’ll learn quite a bit about yourself, others and life in general.

1. You can’t be happy with someone else if you aren’t happy with yourself.

You are your number one priority, all day and every day.

This doesn’t mean you kick everyone else to the curb.

It just shows you respect yourself enough to make sure, when your head hits the pillow at night, you love yourself and are genuinely happy.

Only then are you able to share yourself fully and unforgivably with others.

Letting go or being let go allows you to reconnect with yourself in that way. It gives you a fresh start on your self-relationship.

Take advantage of it.

2. Never half-ass or be half-assed.

There is no in-between when it comes to letting go or being let go.

You either part ways or you don’t. There are no sort-ofs, maybes or kindas.

Being in limbo prolongs the situation, and delays the time you need to fix yourself.

3. Trust the timing of your life.

Letting go doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. It’s just gone for now.

As the saying goes, “Everything happens for a reason.”

Clichéd? Yes. True? I like to think so.

Trust that what has left you, what you have left and what is yet to come will make you a better person.

4. Stop worrying.

Worrying is betting against yourself.

It doesn’t make any situation better.

Rather than expending negative energy, be hopeful for the positive.

Easier said than done, I know. But it’s totally doable, and you can control how you think.

5. Control only what you can.

Speaking of control, you only have the power to control your thoughts, your feelings, your decisions, your actions and your reactions.

Accept there will always be things you can’t change. But decide whether you can deal with them, or whether you need to let them go.

6. Letting go doesn’t mean there is a lack of care.

I’ve definitely held on to things and people because I wanted to show how much I cared.

Listen up: The second you feel like you’re hanging on by a thread, let go. You shouldn’t be holding onto something that makes you feel that way in the first place.

Letting go and being let go doesn’t mean you don’t give a sh*t.

7. Remember who you are.

Have you ever lost yourself to something or someone? It’s a scary thing. (Been there, done that.)

Letting go or being let go can make you question everything about yourself, from your interests and hobbies to your friends and priorities.

Please don’t ever forget the answers.

8. It’s not the end of the world.

The concept of letting go sucks. It really does. There’s nothing easy about it.

In the grand scheme of things, though, it’s not the end of the world. It’s a temporary pain, a momentary discomfort and a minor fear that certainly steals our emotions for some time.

But those feelings will pass.

Live through the temporary pain. You’re not going to feel empty forever.

9. Yesterday does not define you.

What has already happened can’t be changed.

While it certainly impacts how you feel, it does not define who you are. The way you move on and learn from it does.

10. Keep moving forward.

“Letting go” lives in the past. That’s where it belongs.

It belongs in the memories of yesterday, and that’s where we should keep it. Do not run back to something because of missed feelings.

Keep moving forward, and what’s meant to be will catch up.