5 Reasons Dating A Writer Is Challenging, But Worth It

by Zoya Gervis
Trent Lanz

Writers are creative people. There are many things that a potential partner must be prepared for when entering a relationship with a writer. With any creative person, for that matter. It's not an easy task at ALL. Dating artistic types is difficult, I'll admit it. You should be well prepared if you plan on beginning a relationship with a crazy artist and here's a good five reasons why:

1. Our passion has no bounds.

Intensity and passion is part of the job description. We can't be artistic or creative without having parts of our souls bare. In order to feel true beauty in our work, we have to completely expose ourselves to the world.

Passion is most evident in dating. We want to understand you, and we want you to understand us. We desire to feel your soul. We want to know what makes you tick. We want to experience another person with electricity. If we can't feel an intimate connection with you then we instantly know -- it's not real. It simply can't be. Not for us.

We know this characteristic about ourselves. We know it can be scary if you're not an artist yourself; we've scared many potential partners away because of our passionate nature. But we don't mind. Because the truth is, if they can't handle us in our most intense and passionate moments then they're not worth our time.

2. We feel all of our emotions.

Again, our work drives our soul. Our work is our life. We need to fully feel our emotions and express those feelings through our art; we're often roller coasters of emotions.

We feel all the extremes in daily life. The ups and the downs. Writers need to go all the way with their emotions for their work to be extraordinary. If we didn't allow ourselves to fully feel, our art would suffer. Our work would be emotionless, flat, stagnant and bland.

In order to feel, we allow ourselves to just be. We let that beautiful sunset inspire joy and the dead deer on the side of the road bring us to tears. We listen to music, watch the lives of passerbys and then make note of how it all makes us feel. The little old woman buying groceries alone, the dad getting ice cream with his toddler, the elderly couple holding hands -- all of it.

We can't stabilize our emotions. And we don't want to. We like feeling things deeply. We like the feeling of inspiration that we get regularly. But we also need someone to anchor us. We need someone who can keep us sane when the world becomes a little too much for us to bear.

3. Our emotional walls are strong and hard to break.

Creatives often have strong emotional walls built up. We feel like we need to protect our hearts. After years of being rejected and scaring people away, we've learned how to pretend to be introverts.

But if you get close enough to let our walls come down, beware.

These walls are holding a flood of passion and intensity. There's insecurities that we don't talk about, even some we don't admit to ourselves. But once we are fully committed to a relationship, we go in hard. We give everything we've got. And that should scare you.

4. The closer you get to us, the more of our volatility you witness.

Being an anchor for us becomes one of the most important aspects of dating a writer. We can appear to have huge egos, but it's really just our insecurities.

We have to muster up the courage to share our work with the world. But, with that, comes a deep fear of being rejected, not having our art recognized or seen. It's impossible to not have a little ego as a creative, otherwise our art would never get out to the world.

We might appear stable when you first meet us, but deep down we are really a huge combination of doubt, fear, confidence, and crazy imagination.

5. Our instinct is impeccable.

We are the kings and queens of absorbing others' energies. We can feel a persons feelings without them speaking. The darkness surrounding someone, or the radiating inner light shining from another. We can see it. We can feel it. You can't hide your feelings from us.

And we don't want you to.

At the end of the day, dating a writer is all about trust and authenticity. It's simply about expressing yourself fully and truthfully, while allowing the other person to do the same. Withholding judgment, and simply learning from one another. Most of us go through life trying to appear "normal." And in doing so, we hide our true essence.

In order to find true love, we have to express ourselves truthfully. For all of our craziness, when we love, we truly love. So to experience everything in its fullest has its benefits.

It will be scary, but oh, so worth it. Go ahead and give yourself permission to experience all your emotions with a writer. You might just find out who you truly are in the process.