Everything You Experience When You Start A New Chapter And Date A Writer

by Jennifer Miller

Taylor Swift and Beyonce have cornered the market on writing about relationships and winning awards because of men who have hurt them.

It's entirely true, writers take inspiration from their life experiences and write about them in stories, articles and screenplays. For all the minuses to dating a writer, there are also a lot of pluses when you date a writer.

1. We're very creative.

It's not all bad dating a writer. For one thing, the creative spark within writers is completely off the wall. Never expect the norm when dating a writer. We might not actually bring a notecard with possible topics to discuss, but I assure you that we have thought about them and thought about them and thought about them, then landed on the least odd topics to bring up.

For if we don't think about potential topics to discuss, I guarantee you the conversation will veer off into completely unexpected and bizarre paths. A text message is never just a text message. Sure, we'll overanalyze what was sent to us, but a response is just another chance to write and that is always exciting.

2. We tend to drift away.

I wish this wasn't true, but we have a tendency to drift away in the middle of the conversation. No matter how interesting the conversation is, something small, externally or internally, will catch our attention and then we're gone.

It could be a new idea for a story, a screenplay, research or just a new plot twist. Sometimes we're trying really hard to remember our work story arcs out, that we forget to live in the here and now. Don't take it personally, but do try to pull us out of it.

3. You will be described.

Sorry, but you will be written about. Most likely in a non-complimentary way. I went out with a guy who seemed to think if he did the right things he would be praised in my writing. Realistically, writers pull from the deepest, rawest emotions in all experiences to find a way to describe an event to the reader -- this doesn't always include positive ones.

Most readers are comfortable with the good, happy emotions and have no problems identifying with those. The deepest source of pain, on the other hand, is a little tougher to identify so for that reason, writers are constantly trying to develop new ways to describe that which can feel indescribable.

4. We miss social cues.

We have a tendency to miss solid social cues. I don't mean to come across as crazy when a guy is pulling the fade out on me, but I follow up so much on pitches, sources and editors regularly, I forget that normal dates are not people you "follow up" on when they are clearly avoiding you.

I often forget what are inappropriate questions to ask people on first dates, hell, in general. Do you not want to discuss how your parents' marriage makes you feel about life in general? Whoops, I might ask about it.

5. We notice everything.

Distracted, aloof, standoffish -- all great words to describe interacting with a writer. Except that we notice everything, even when it seems like we're barely seeing the world around us. The tells, the tics, the mannerisms, everything that makes you you are noticed by us. Sometimes endearingly, sometimes annoyingly, but always catalogued. Hey, you could be an amazing character in a book later.

Most of the time we're so busy noticing the little things that we forget to notice what you just said, but expect some of the most thoughtful gifts ever from a writer. For all the times we lose interest or forget to respond, we noticed that you mentioned your favorite band growing up and got you a T-shirt in your favorite color.

6. We have depth of feeling.

Good or bad, happy or sad, we feel everything. These feelings give us the power to write such evocative characters and compelling story lines. In turn, writing gives us a way to work out these intense feelings we have.

Try to imagine a writer who can't express feelings and emotions through writing. Scary, right?

7. We sometimes have bad days.

Sometimes the writing just isn't going that well. There is no way to explain this to other people, but sometimes, the sentences don't come out on paper the way we picture them in our heads. Some days we can't think of a character's background or special tics. These types of days lead to excruciating depression and feelings of failure.

There is a chance you might not get a text back or nights out. We know we're going to get past it because we have before, but some days we need to just hide under the covers eating Laffy Taffy and reading inspirational quotes on Instagram, OK?

8. But other days, we're full of exuberance.

Hey, some days, just the opposite happens. The story line works out perfectly, we get positive feedback from our editors and that scene we couldn't figure out falls perfectly into the story arc. Those days we definitely won't text back and our phone will be on "Do Not Disturb."

The next day will definitely have lots of excited and happy texts and wanting to socialize. Just go with the fast-talking, excited garble that comes with everything working out perfectly. Sure, it seems like we're going through mania, but it's fine, we're just excited to share our awesome new plot twist or kickass syntax.

Yes, dating a writer is a little bit different than dating anyone else, but once you get over the fear of possibly having your entire life out there for people to read about, the entire experience is fun.

But hey, I might be a little bit biased since I am a writer and I tend to date writers.