As I mentioned in another article, "college is a paradise for mediocre, borderline alcoholic boys who would never otherwise pull."
Unfortunately, as straight women, these mediocre, borderline alcoholic boys are, for the most part, all we have to choose from for those four years. Sure, every once in a while we snag ourselves a total catch, but for the most part, we get stuck with the not-so-great members of the bunch.
From the guy who couldn't remember your name no matter how many times he made out with you to the guy who peed on your mattress and tried to convince you that you were actually the one who did it, college is filled with some of the worst guys you'll ever hook up with.
Maybe you've hooked up with all of them individually, or maybe you were with a guy who embodied several of these characteristics all in one.
Either way, if you're in college, take solace in the fact that you are not alone — everyone's hooking up with these dweebs. If you've graduated, rejoice that you are (hopefully) done with these losers once and for all:
1. The guy who forgets you ever even hooked up.
2. The guy who lives on your floor.
3. The guy who assumes you're dating now.
4. The guy who hooks up with a bunch of other girls to be cool.
5. The guy who's a dick to you in front of his friends.
6. The guy who's a dick to you even when you're alone.
7. The guy who pressures you to have sex.
8. The guy who pressures you to do drugs.
9. The guy who gets too drunk and calls you 87 times.
10. The guy who gets too drunk and sends you really weird, creepy texts.
The guy who gets too drunk and sends you really weird, creepy texts.
11. The guy who cannot remember one detail about you for the life of him.
12. The guy who cries every time you try to break things off.
13. The guy who's definitely still with his girlfriend from home.
14. The guy who goes MIA the day after you hook up every single time.
15. The guy who only wants you when you don't want him.
16. The guy who hooks up with you all the time but never invites you to a formal.
17. The guy who never offers to walk you home.
18. The guy who always leaves you with a hickey.
19. The guy who's hooked up with all of your friends.
20. The guy who's your date to formal but is too drunk to be let in.
21. The guy who takes you to his formal, only to hook up with another girl the whole time.
22. The guy who cannot seem to remember your name no matter how many times you hook up.
The guy who cannot seem to remember your name no matter how many times you hook up.
23. The guy who refuses to say "hi" when he sees you while sober.
24. The guy who told everyone you had sex when you didn't.
25. The guy who can't stop name-dropping.
26. The guy who refuses to use a condom.
27. The guy who gave you an STI.
28. The guy who only texts you when he's drunk.
29. The guy who was a blatant loser in high school and somehow found himself in a cool frat.
30. The guy whose room is so disgusting, it could legitimately be a biohazard.
31. The guy who peed on your mattress.
32. The guy who peed on your mattress and tried to convince you that you did it.
33. The guy who told everyone when you peed on his mattress.
34. The guy who hooked up with another girl the same night he hooked up with you.
35. The guy who was more in love with his frat than with you.
The guy who was more in love with his frat than with you.
36. The guy who wouldn't date you, even if you literally offered to donate your own kidney for him.