There are times when the easiest thing on the planet, communication, can seem like the hardest.
We can't always understand why communication between men and women has become so hard.
It's what successfully binds both romantic relationships and friendships. However, even I can admit women can be very complex sometimes.
At the end of the day, it needs to be understood that women veer towards communicating differently than men. As to whether or not this is biological or social, I truly couldn't tell you.
What I can tell you is efficient communication isn't always as easy as it may seem.
While some men tend to believe they communicate properly, the likelihood they do is slim. In fact, many individuals fail at effective communication on the daily, including women.
I also believe many men have an incorrect perception and understanding of how a female communicates in general, so I'm going to break it down for them.
Here are four ways to better understand how the female brain works:
1. Listen to us.
Guys, if you don't consider yourself an "active listener," then you're probably not as good at communicating as you think you are.
I understand you may lose patience mid-convo, but if we're telling you something, it means it's important to us.
While we can appreciate the value face-to-face communication has, not all men do. Understand you need to take the time to not only listen to us, but to engage in the conversation as well. We're very appreciative of such behavior.
Selective hearing is problematic. No one likes to repeat themselves over and over again and it becomes frustrating when you choose what you want to listen to, and what you don't want to listen to.
Is what I'm saying boring you, or is it that your brain isn't functioning correctly?
Whatever the case may be, let's be frank with the fact that nobody likes a selective listener -- pay attention to what we're saying.
2. Know we're not always looking for clear-cut answers.
When we want to discuss certain subjects, understand we're not always looking for clear-cut answers from you.
It boils down to having someone we can rant to, and having someone who can perhaps understand what we're dealing with just by actively listening and engaging in conversation with us.
We get it, you might not know it all and that's OK. What you do need to know is that we feel more settled after having our partners relate to what we're saying.
You should also recognize that these convos aren't really spontaneous.
If we're bringing something important up to you, it's because we've been thinking about it for a while. If we're taking the time to plan out exactly what we're going to say, take it seriously.
3. Shocker: We're not always direct.
There it is, I said it. We're not ALWAYS direct.
I almost never get straight to the point. However, a lot of men do. As a result of this, men need to understand we tend to beat around the bush and rushing us will get you absolutely nowhere.
I wouldn't interpret this as a negative thing, though. Rather, a lot of what we communicate about takes careful consideration.
Sometimes, we expect you to read our minds and know what we're thinking without having to say it. I'm guilty of this.
While that's not possible for 99 percent of the population, it's important men still ask the questions they should be asking.
Based on the fact that women are programmed by society and culture to be nurturing human beings, we still want this feeling to be mutual.
If she repeatedly indicates she doesn't need that necklace, chances are, she's dying to have it.
4. "Nothing" doesn't actually mean "nothing!"
We all know how this goes.
If you ask her what's wrong and she says "nothing," it means everything is wrong.
Men, this is where your communication skills truly come into play. A lot of the time, women don't believe you're actually listening.
This is often because many men don't provide any verbal cues to confirm they are.
The words "I'm fine," are code for, "You should know what I'm upset, and if you don't, then too bad!"
Always give her the option to discuss whatever may be bugging her. Doing that shows us you're willing to have a conversation with us, and you're interested in our feelings.
If you can make the time to play the sports you love, spend time with your friends and family or watch your favorite show, you can certainly make time to have meaningful conversation.
Know in the world of women, no means yes, maybe means yes and yes means yes.
We strive for intimacy during conversation because it assists with feelings of connectivity. Talk to each other to avoid or fill the unhealthy gap of misunderstanding.
At the end of the day, you can't read her mind, so don't try. Patience and practice is what clearly defines healthy and effective communication between two people.