When Do You Exchange Numbers On Tinder? 3 Ways To Tell It’s Time
Tinder is pretty intuitive. You swipe right on people who swipe right on you, send messages back and forth, and hopefully end up on a date. There’s zero tech savviness required. But long before you get to the point where you’re ready for a first date, you may be wondering when to exchange numbers on Tinder.
Meeting someone in person requires advanced planning. A cute-but-casual locale must be selected, a convenient-but-not-desperate date and time must be agreed upon, and two human beings must actually show up. Because there are so many logistics to be planned and no one wants their phone blowing up with dating app notifications when you’re five minutes late — No, three! Ugh, train traffic; meet you inside! — exchanging numbers on Tinder makes sense. If you know this is someone you want to have a potential relationship with, moving your communication off an app and directly to your phone signifies that you’re ready (and wanting) something more.
However, there may be such a thing as exchanging numbers too soon. Life coach Nina Rubin says, “Sometimes, people exchange numbers too fast, which leads to sending photos early on. This can get overly sexual too soon, turning daters into [friends with benefits] situations.” So, how soon is too soon? And when’s the right time to exchange numbers? Here are three surefire signs it's time to offer up the digits.
1. You've Already Talked About An Actual Date
You mentioned that you love ramen, and your match mentioned an awesome spot where they are a master at getting last-minute Friday night reservations. If you’re already talking time and place, offer up your number. "One can throw out their cell after this as a courtesy to connect if someone is running late or they can't find each other at the meetup," explains dating expert Meredith Golden of SpoonMeetSpoon.com. Rubin agrees, saying, “It’s best to exchange phone numbers when you’re planning a date and ready to communicate a little more readily.”
Golden recommends waiting to share your number once a date, time, and location are confirmed. "I've noticed that switching to texting from messaging has a high drop-off rate," she explains.
2. You're Both Slow To Reply To Messages
Sometimes, you end up Tinder-ghosting a cute and interesting person you’re attracted to simply because you forgot you were chatting with them. Because you’re communicating through an app. it's easy to forget to check back in with a potential partner about how their Monday was.
That said, if you give your number to a match too soon, you run the risk of endless banter and date rescheduling that never results in an actual date. "It's good practice to meet, otherwise [a] 'text buddy' develops, which no one looking for a relationship ever enjoys," explains Golden.
Rubin says you can avoid becoming a “text buddy” by making it clear that’s not what you’re looking for. “You can tell someone you’re not interested in texting without meeting,” Rubin says. “You can always tell someone you’re not interested if it becomes overwhelming.”
3. Your Match Asks For Your Number
If someone you’re interested in is messaging you on Tinder and asks for your number, this feels obvious, but go ahead and give it to them. You don't have to withhold your number because it might lead to becoming "text buddies," and you shouldn’t worry that you’re not making them “work hard enough.” When it comes to giving out your number, do whatever you feel comfortable with. “You’re an adult,” Rubin says. “Exercise judgment about what’s right for you.”
You should switch over to texting whenever it makes things easier for you — regardless of whether it’s right before a date or not. If you're happy to offer up your number, do it. If you want to wait to feel out the potential relationship a little bit longer, that’s your right, too. If your match turns into a relationship, it won't be because you followed certain rules about when to give out your digits.
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