How do you feel about receiving oral sex? Is it at the very top of your sexual menu, or does even the thought of it make you uncomfortable? There’s no “right” way to feel about oral sex, but for many, it’s a pathway worth exploring (over and over and over again) to better understand the full expression of one’s sexuality. Maybe you're familiar with the mechanics of cunnilingus, but you aren't really sure what receiving oral sex feels like. And frankly, "good" isn't enough of a descriptor for something as complex and beautiful as going down.
Even for the greatest cunnilingus connoisseurs among us, it’s difficult to answer the question, “What does head feel like for a girl?” (Or anyone with a vagina.) A person who’s familiar with the mechanics of going down can still be totally in the dark about why oral sex feels so amazing for people with vaginas.
From a medical and physiological standpoint, Dr. Adeeti Gupta, NYC-based OBGYN and founder of Walk In GYN Care, says oral sex is an especially potent method of bringing a person with a vagina to orgasm. “The pleasurable sensation is mainly due to direct stimulation of the clitoris,” Dr. Gupta tells Elite Daily. “Increase of blood flow in the clitoral region is an extremely powerful precursor to female orgasm.”
But of course, the act of receiving head is about so much more than just the physical response to pleasure. It’s an experience that’s unique to each individual, and often dependent upon whoever is doing the giving — and how. A dry, spiky tongue that drills too hard on the clitoris, for example, is not going to yield the same effect as the warm, wet, thoroughly curious tongue of someone who’s trained in the fine art of performing oral sex on a vagina. Read on for real first-person accounts of cunnilingus to get a better sense of what receiving oral sex really feels like for people with vaginas.
1. It’s An Amazing Feeling Of Release.
"Getting oral sex feels like... anticipation, tension, then relief. Like clenching your fist really tight and then being able to stretch out your fingers. Or being in a quiet room all day and finally getting to scream. Or taking off your bra when you get home. It feels like your whole body can physically exhale." — Iman, 24
2. It Starts Feeling Good, & Ends Feeling Even Better.
“It starts as a tickle and a flutter in my stomach and builds into a warm pressure and finally a great orgasm, but with the wrong person in the driver’s seat it can just feel weird or wrong, like someone got lost and doesn’t even realize Google Maps exists.” — Carmen, 35
3. It’s Not For Everyone.
“In all honesty, the experience of receiving oral sex has always been... pretty underwhelming when compared to the actual shebang. The best case scenario is usually when it’s slow and soft. It feels like a wet (best part), soft, but powerful force is touching you in the most vulnerable way. The vulnerability only adds to how sexy the whole experience is. It’s really that good when it’s done right. It’s incredibly hot and, it may sound funny, it... tickles but in the most intoxicating way. But, of course, that almost never happens.
Instead, in my experience, it has always been like when someone goes to a bar crawl to enjoy a night and doesn’t realize there are other bars to crawl. Except the bar crawl is your vagina. The one bar that won’t be left is your clitoris. And that person that won’t leave is a tongue. I can truly do without it sometimes.” — Cassie, 25
4. Technique Matters.
“I think how it feels depends a lot on the technique of the person performing it, to be honest. In my favorite experiences with it, it feels kind of like a suction cup, but that’s my personal preference! It’s all about figuring out what you like, and speaking up about it.” — Stella, 25
5. Enthusiasm Matters, Too.
“When done right, it’s hot AF. Someone you’re (hopefully) attracted to is essentially sucking and licking all your most sensitive spots and you feel it all over. It’s wet but not in a weird way. It’s just fun and sexy and the best thing ever. When done wrong, it’s awkward and sort of feels like a wet blob just poking at your labia. You can definitely tell when someone doesn’t know what they’re doing or doesn’t want to be doing it, period.” — Vicky, 25
6. Beware Of Beards.
“Well, it depends a lot on the [person]. My ex didn't really know what he was doing and it wasn't very pleasurable. Firstly because I felt like he was scratching me with his beard and secondly he kept tugging on my clit which was kind of uncomfortable. My current bf is amazing though. He know[s] what he's doing and it's always a straight way to orgasm.” — u/med_girl26 on Reddit
7. Explorers Welcome.
“The best oral I’ve ever received has been from my current partner. They’re always telling me how much they love my vagina (the look, the taste, the smell, everything), which really helps me relax, and they’re not afraid to travel with their tongue. They spend time on my clit, then at the opening of my vagina, and they even sprinkle in a little rimming. All of it combined is literally life-changing. And their confidence is really sexy.” — Maya, 25
8. It’s Incredibly Intimate.
“Receiving oral sex feels like one of the most intimate things to do with a partner sexually. Having someone’s face so close to your vagina comes with some insecurities but when the connection is there and you know they’re enjoying it, it sort of sets the bar for an overall great sexual encounter.” — Jessica, 35
9. Performing Under Pressure.
“I find it hard to be present during oral sex. I like fantasizing about it more than having it; it’s almost like there’s this pressure to perform? I feel rushed to orgasm because unlike sex the experience isn’t shared in the same way, so it’s all about me. If I’m swept up in the moment, then I can sometimes get out of my head. My current partner is 100% better than other partners because I feel so comfortable, so that helps. But I usually have to be SUPER horny so that I don’t even care about his experience. (Even though I always care a little.)” — Veronica, 25
10. It Can Facilitate Body Acceptance.
“I’ve known a lot of people who feel uncomfortable with receiving oral sex for various reasons (body shame, feeling vulnerable, discomfort with being the center of attention). I would encourage the curious but nervous to persevere because it can also be really hot! It’s pretty great to feel your partner so singularly focused on your pleasure, and it can honestly be good practice for those of us who learned that our pleasure was less relevant in sexual encounters.
It can also be a very useful exercise in communicating with your partner about what you like. Oral sex feels really different depending on who’s doing it and what exactly they’re doing, but when people are good at tuning in to both your verbal and nonverbal cues, it can be incredible.” — Rosemary, 46
11. It’s Simple & Effective.
“It feels like a guaranteed orgasm.” — u/meltallica82 on Reddit
12. It Leaves You Speechless
“I have a weird relationship with oral because of trauma, but I’d say it feels like: 🌟🕺🍦✋😭🌀😵💫💫👏” — Henri, 26
The pleasure of oral is highly dependent on the chemistry and connection between the giver and the receiver. Whether it’s your go-to for a great orgasm or it feels sort of strange, embrace your truth, and don't be afraid to ask for what you want (or express what you don't want) from a partner.
Dr. Adeeti Gupta, NYC-based OBGYN and founder of Walk IN GYN Care, the nation's first walk-in center for complete women's health
This article was originally published on