Good news for all you bacon lovers out there who only want to date other human beings who also love greasy, fatty, most likely inhumanely raised and slaughtered pork products. There is a dating site for you. In fact, there are plenty of weird dating apps out there.
The other day, I thought all was lost, because my Bumble app said there were no new matches for me. "Great, I'm gonna have to set my radius to 30 miles, like some sort of desperate loser," I thought to myself. Instead, I went on Google and asked, "What are other dating apps for when Bumble says you have no new matches?" which is definitely not something a desperate loser would do.
Anyway, I was surprised and pleased to find that Oscar Meyer has a dating app for people who love bacon. There is also a dating app for Juggalos, for Furries, and for several more strange interests that I don't want to give away because I need you to read this article. Seriously, I really, really need this. Please help me.
Here are some truly weird dating apps (no kink shaming, Furries) to try out when you have Bumbled through your entire city. Please try one if you are brave.
JuggaLOVE claims to be the "fastest growing relationship site on the web." I want to say that I think that is incorrect and I kind of disagree, but I also do not want to become an arch enemy of the Juggalos — you know, since I'm assuming they read all of my work.
JuggaLOVE currently has 2,277 members, but only 684 are Juggalettes, so this is definitely the website to come to if you're looking to meet a man. There are plenty for the picking. Plus, dating a Juggalo seems like a great lifestyle choice. You guys can share makeup, go to concerts, share makeup... go to some more concerts?
Let me tell ya, I've dated a few clowns in my lifetime without going on this app at all! Haha, anyway, clowns are scary, but much like the narcissists and sociopaths that exist on the more common datings apps, they deserve love, too.
I don't quite know what sex with a clown would entail. Perhaps being spanked with rubber chickens? Maybe getting a cream pie or two to the face? Full disclosure: Both of those activities feel kind of fun. Also, I have large feet for a woman (I am a size 10), so I will probably easily fit in those big, red clown shoes that seem to be fashionable in, you know, that scene.
When signing up for the site, you have some options. For example, you can put that you are a female ghost, looking for a male ghost between the ages of 18 and 180, who died either horribly, mysteriously, tragically, or suddenly. 180-year-old male ghost who died suddenly FTW!
If you're not looking to hook up (because apparently ghost bodies are impervious to f*cking), then swipe right on this app to find a boo.
Sizzl is for people who like bacon, and you can swipe right on people who like the same kind of bacon that you do. To be honest, I would be weirded out by people who like animal flesh so much that they needed to download an app to match with other people who also love burnt animal flesh. But hey, that's just me.
Ay Carumba! Hot Sauce Passions is a website for people who love hot sauce. The website confuses me, though, because it also has a book club and a webcam option, which leaves me wondering — what is this? I also wonder that after most of my romantic encounters, though, so I'm rolling with it.
I can't imagine what a date would be like after you both imbibe tons of spicy food and hot sauce at dinner, while you take turns using the toilet in either one of your studio apartments in between an awkward and bad-tasting make-out session, but it would most likely be a great bonding experience.
Why don't they just call this "Dating in Los Angeles? Hahaha, am I right?
Anyway, aside from the people who genuinely have a gluten intolerance (Celiac disease is serious, people), this website is for people who make finding a restaurant complicated and say things like "I am eating vegan this week" or "I drink beer, but I don't eat bread."
If you wanna make it on this dating app, you must "enjoy long, slow walks in the mall, and brains."
Not much to say here. It's a joke, obviously, but with the way things are going in the world, you never know what you need to prepare for. Gonna bookmark this one in the computer in my bunker.
TBH, I would try FarmersOnly. First of all, men who work with their hands are hot. Flannels? Into them. Beards? Also a look I am all about. Cowboy hats? I could live without them, but sure. Also, I could probably live out my lifelong dream of riding around on a tractor, which has always seemed fun to me and something that Sandra Bullock probably does in her free time in her vacation home in Texas.
My only fear is this: I am pretty sure that scarecrows come alive at night. So my first message to a match would probably be like, "Hey Doug, at night, do scarecrows come alive and are they murderous? If so, would you protect me, and what is your plan of action?" Then, Doug would most likely unmatch me, but if you can't handle me at my "do scarecrows come alive at night?" you don't deserve me at my "carefree and driving around on a tractor"!
Wait, guys, full disclosure: I cried during this video. First of all, it features my favorite song, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by enchanting Hawaiian singer Israel "Iz" Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole.
I think Furries are very sweet, and they are just big stuffed animals who love cuddling and drawing anime-adjacent pictures of animals. Sometimes, those animals happen to be having sex with one another, but at the end of the day, they are just people like us looking for love. If you are one of those people, try out FurryMate, or simply watch the video. It's so moving!
If you're sick of the conventional dating apps and want to think outside the box, then maybe give one of these dating sites a try.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!