I'm not a fan of the phrase “brutally honest.” It always sounds to me like someone is violently punching you with their thoughts. Really, you shouldn't be brutal about anything in your relationship unless the act is consensual and involves a safe word.
If you love your partner and are looking for ways to make them fall more in love with you, then you should find a way to smack them over the head with the raw truth of your feelings. Pummel your lover's chest with the soft, delicate fists of affection until you both melt in a puddle of tenderness and reciprocal care. Clap their ears with affirmations, words of support, and validation. Tell them all the ways you have fallen for them.
If you are looking for the words to make someone fall more in love with you, here are some soft truths to get your love with your partner off to the right start:
1. What Your Childhood Was Actually Like
Talking about one another's pasts will bring you and your love interest closer. Telling stories about yourself to one another is an opportunity to share some of your most tender memories, as well as talk about your insecurities or the vulnerabilities you faced when you were a child.
There's no better way to start to feel like you have known someone forever than by hearing about the experiences they had as a kid. If your partner is already falling in love with you, then opening up to them about your past will make their feelings for you grow.
It takes courage to share your history with your partner, but if you are in a relationship that already has the space for that level of intimacy and care, it's the best way to bring your feelings for one another to the next level.
2. The Reasons You Are Attracted To Each Other
I don't know whether it's because of the current Netflix and chill epidemic or hookup culture or what, but for some reason, people are hesitant to verbally express their attraction to one another. Maybe they think that if they compliment someone, they are legally bound to loving that person forever?
When someone I am seeing casually drops a compliment on me, I immediately feel weak at the knees. A simple "you're really freaking cute" will have me blushing and shooting emoji hearts out of my eyes. Even if our connection is only a passing one, for just that moment, they have managed to flatter me into loving them stupid.
A little flattery can go a long way in a relationship. Feeling desired and wanted is an emboldening feeling and will make your partner more comfortable in their love for you.
3. What Tenderness Means To You In A Relationship
What does true affection look like to you? Is it having a partner who rubs the tension out of your shoulders? Or coming home to someone who is eager to hear about your day? Is it important that your partner helps you work out your stresses or challenges? Or are you the one who can hold more stress?
Talking about your love languages early and often will ensure that you and your partner are speaking the same dialect of affection. Love lacks confidence when it doesn't feel like it's getting returned. So knowing the gestures your partner uses to demonstrate their care and affection tells you about the ones they want to receive in return. Plus, it helps you identify love when your partner is demonstrating it to you.
Imagine being in a relationship with someone who has literally never said "I love you" because words of affirmation just isn't one of their love languages. But if you have already talked about how your partner prefers to demonstrate their feelings by setting aside a weekend of special quality time for you, for example, then falling in love with them won't be such a dilemma.
Knowing one another's love language means you will be able to recognize when your partner is falling more deeply in love with you. For your relationship, that can only be a good thing.
4. When Your Partner Does Something To Upset You
When your partner hurts your feelings — because, inevitably, they will — you need to be able to express that they have done you wrong. Bending over backward in the name of love won't convince someone to love you more. If someone is going to fall for you, they have to be able to hear you out when you are hurting, apologize, and readjust their actions.
If someone can't hear you out, then they are not able to actually love you without walking all over you. You will not make them stay by falling for codependency, either. Be honest from the beginning about your feelings. If they run away because they have p*ssed you off, then that's for the better. You didn't want their stale affection anyway.
5. How Much Their Presence In Your Life Means To You
There is no way to say this about your partner gently: Their compassion has likely helped you through turbulent times. They've been a consistent presence holding you, physically and mentally, since the day you met. Get brutally honest about how much this care and affection means to you.
Express what you feel for your partner, while also highlighting the differences their presence has made to your life. How have you grown since you have met them? In what ways do you feel like your partner brings out the best in you? Acknowledge what your partner does for you on a regular basis. Make them feel loved, and the love will probably grow in return.
And although there is no way to force someone to fall more in love with you, showing your truest self is the most secure path to falling deeply in love with someone who truly loves you for you.
So go on, then, and get real with each other. What do you have to lose?
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