Why ‘The One’ Will Probably Be A Lot Different Than You Think

by Maggie Munley

I have heard every knock knock joke and “yo momma” joke in the book, but I still don't think I've heard a bigger joke than the term “soulmates.”

Don't get me wrong; I love any Nicholas Sparks love story just as much as the next girl, but sometimes, I have to choke back my laughter (or my lunch) when I hear girls getting all goo-goo over finding their soulmates or how their significant other is “the one.”

I am only 22 years old, and by no means am I a love expert. I've only been in two serious relationships in my life — both of which were failures.

But this isn't the cynical, single-girl side of me talking, I promise. Actually, I've always thought the concept of finding “the one” is quite ridiculous.

You see, there are 7 billion people in the world.

So you mean to tell me that, out of 7 billion humans, I'm supposed to settle for nothing less than “the one”? If that's the case, I should've changed my college major from Journalism to something more investigative so I'd stand a better chance at differentiating rejects from “the one.”

Call me pessimistic, but I'm going to disagree and say the following statement is more realistic than anything: I believe you can be genuinely happy with more than just one person.

Our hearts are so big, giving and accepting. There are so many people we can open ourselves up to if we stop this nonsense with thinking we're on the search for our one perfect human.

OK, before I outrage you hopeless romantics, hear me out before starting your search for the next love article.

I understand you can be “genuinely” happy with the wrong person. I understand you can get pretty close to convincing yourself that you're happy, too. So I acknowledge that you may not get that head-over-heels feeling with everyone you meet.

But that's all part of our journey.

You meet everyone in your life for a reason. Isn't it kind of cool to stop and think about why we meet who we meet when we meet them?

Every boyfriend, every ex, every fling — they're all lessons. And these lessons are much more entertaining than the ones you're forced to sit through during a lecture at school.

With every guy you meet, you begin to realize the kind of relationship you really want. You pick out the good and the bad in everyone, and without realizing it, you're creating your very own mental checklist of what you want (and deserve) in a relationship.

And guess what? You'll probably find there's a hell of a lot more than just one guy out there who can make you happy.

Let me tell you something: Of my two serious relationships, my two exes could not have been more different if they tried. And I loved them both very, very much.

However, looking back on these relationships, I understand I wouldn't have been genuinely happy with either of them in the long run.

You have to weight out the good and the bad. Take the good, run with it and continue your search for your one, not the one. More likely than not, your one will probably end up being a lot different than "the one" you wanted.

So keep putting yourself out there, and learn to open yourself up to different personalities and different guys.

Understand that life is not a Nicholas Sparks novel. I know, I know. I wish Ryan Gosling would hang off a Ferris wheel in his skivvies for me, too, but he won't, so don't count on it.

Life has a funny way of happening. I know it's such a cliche, but what is meant to be will be. And it always finds its way.

We have no idea what to expect in life — whether it be what our lives will be like a year from now or what we're having for dinner tonight.

So stop stressing about “the one,” and open up your heart to some greater opportunities.