When you're in a relationship, the amount of sex you have varies. During that honeymoon phase, you'll have it every day, and as your relationship goes on, you're lucky to have it once a month. However, it's integral to keep up some form of routine. You might wonder, why is sex so important in relationships? Well, it's actually more than just physical. It can help to foster an emotional and mental relationship with your partner, too.
Clinical sexologist Dr. Dawn Michael of TheHappySpouse.com told Elite Daily that it's actually so important, that you need to “make [sex] a priority in the relationship or it will eventually fade." Yikes. A lack of sex in a relationship can definitely make a partner feel neglected or rejected and, at its worst, can even lead to emotional or physical infidelity.
But let's not harp on the bad things. Let's talk about why having loads of sex is great for your relationship — because it is. It can foster intimacy between you and your partner, make you both happier, and increase your desire for each other. So here are five surprising reasons why sex is actually an important part of a relationship. Are you doing it enough?
1. It Fosters Emotional Closeness And Intimacy
When you're coupled up with someone, sex isn't just a physical act. It's not a one-night stand, a quick f*ck, or something you're just trying to get over with. (Hopefully, you're never having sex just to get it over with no matter what.) Sex makes both you and your partner feel desired and sought after above all other people. It also differentiates your relationship from a friendship, which is important for making it last.
Jennifer Chaiken, MFT and owner of The West Chester Therapy Group, explained to Elite Daily, “There are so many reasons why couples have sex that are not just about physical pleasure. Often couples derive an emotional closeness during sex that may be just as important as physical pleasure.”
Sex involves expanding your boundaries, relinquishing insecurities, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, all of which are important for establishing intimacy with your partner.
Additionally, sex expert Dr. Logan Levkoff told Elite Daily, “Daily sex means daily emotional and physical intimacy with a partner. That connection goes a long way to foster good feelings and bonding.” So, you heard Dr. Levkoff. Have sex every day. The more you do it, the better your relationship will be.
2. It Will Actually Make You Happier
Sex can also make you happy on a hormonal and biological level, and if you and your significant other can f*ck your way to happiness, why not do it? Intercourse releases the hormone oxytocin, otherwise known as "the love hormone," according to Live Science. Oxytocin can simulate feelings of adoration, trust, and connection within the body. Even more so than sex, the chemical is also released through cuddling. In fact, a study published in The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that the more you cuddle and get close with your partner after sex, the more bonded you'll feel to them.
Dr. Anik Debrot, author of the study, said,
When engaging in sex, people not only seek an intimate connection, but indeed experience more affection, both when having sex and in the next several hours. Hence sex seems not only beneficial because of its physiological or hedonic effects, but because it promotes a stronger and more positive connection with the partner.
Additionally, according to Psychology Today, there's another reason why sex can make you feel happy. You're finally away from work, your phone, and other stresses, and you're actually present with your partner. Who wouldn't want a little rest and relaxation with the person they love, especially R&R that probably ends with an orgasm?
3. It Allows You To Get Creative
Despite popular opinion, rough sex, kinky sex, and BDSM actually require a lot of trust, empathy, and security between partners. You're depending on your partner to completely understand your desires for pleasure, your limits for pain, and trust that they'll stop when you ask them to. If you want to amp up an emotional connection in your relationship, wild sex might actually be the way to do it.
About the importance of sexual fantasies, Dr. Michael explained to Elite Daily, “Just talking about it can be mentally exciting for both. Take the time to ask and listen to a fantasy your partner may have.”
Fantasy and role play are a great place to start in order to increase the comfort level in your relationship. If you've been existing in vanilla territory, or if your relationship has hit a plateau, it's time for a change.
“If your sex life is suffering from 'vanilla syndrome,' spice it up,” April Masini, a New York-based relationship and etiquette expert and author, told Elite Daily. “There are many different ways to do this, and it requires some strategizing and some effort. You can try the simple fixes like hotel sex, sex toys, [and] porn, go to sexy options from 50 Shades of Grey or 9 1/2 Weeks, or you can make a sexual bucket list together and start checking off those goals!"
So if you're wondering if sex is good for your relationship, the answer is a resounding yes. It connects you with your partner on a myriad of levels that are far more than just physical. If you and your SO are in an emotional rut or you're sitting stagnant in your relationship, it might be time to amp up your sex life a little. It could actually be beneficial to both your physical and emotional intimacy, not to mention being a good time overall.
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