Why Do Guys Ghost You After Sex? 4 Things It Might Mean If He Does
If you're in the dating world at all these days, it's unfortunately likely you've experienced ghosting.
Ghosting is pretty terrible on its own, but it's even worse when it's done after you've had sex with someone. Yes, not only are people ghosting each other to get out of a real conversation, it turns out that people are hooking up and then just ditching the other person completely.
If this has happened to you, you may be wondering what it means when a guy ghosts after sex.
Elite Daily spoke to some experts (and some men who have done it) for their insight.
1. He's A Jerk
Let's get one thing out of the way first: If a man ghosts you after sex, he's a jerk. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about that.
No matter what his reason is, when a man can't act grown-up and decent enough to communicate that he's not interested in pursuing a relationship with you, that makes him immature.
Ghosting is one of the cruelest ways to end a relationship with someone, and the reality is, the level of hurt that the other person experiences goes up drastically when sexual activity has been involved.
If you are dealing with a man who ghosted you after sex, remind yourself that this probably has nothing to do with you, and focus on feeling better. You probably dodged a bullet and will be better off without him in the long run.
2. He Doesn't Know What To Do Next
Although there is no excuse for ghosting — ever — it's possible he just wasn't sure how to proceed, according to Chris Armstrong, a certified relationship coach at Maze of Love.
"It may mean that he does not know what is next," says Armstrong.
It's common to think that men know exactly what they're doing when they're dating, but this isn't always the case, he says: "Men are often a lot less confident than they come across, and if they're not sure what 'this' is, they ghost."
It's still not a good excuse, though. If a man isn't sure how to move things forward, the ideal response would be to communicate. But, of course, men who ghost probably aren't the best at communicating.
Either way, a man who ghosted you after sex — even if it was because he was insecure — isn't worth your time.
3. He Never Intended To Pursue A Relationship
Another reason a man may ghost after sex is if he's truly just a stage-five loser who had no intention of pursuing a relationship in the first place, but didn't want to be honest about his intentions.
Armstrong says, "It may mean that he is a player and that was his intention from the beginning."
In other words, he's not just a jerk: He's a jerk who knew he was going to be a jerk from the beginning.
Mike Goldstein, founder of EZ Dating Coach, says it's not that uncommon: "Men want to have sex, and they don't need an emotional connection to have it. He gave you just enough in order to get you to have sex with him."
If you think the guy just wanting to get you in bed was the reason he ghosted you right after, don't fret over him for long: You ditched some dead weight.
4. He Made Up Some Pathetic Reason In His Head To Justify It
Sometimes, a man ghosts because he's made up a reason in his head to justify his awful behavior.
Either way, we're still in the "jerk" category.
On Reddit, some guys revealed if they've ever ghosted someone after sex — and if so, why they did it. Some of their responses were as follows:
As you can see, the men who ghost are the same men who use words like "crazy" to describe women.
In other words, when a man ghosts you after you have sex, it really means just one thing: He's pretty awful and doesn't deserve any more of your time.