Kylah Benes-Trapp

What It Means To Be A Girl And Have A Sex Dream Where You Have A Penis

This week's submission comes from 57-year-old Sophia*, who regularly dreams she has a penis:

I keep dreaming that I have a penis and I keep masturbating, then I have wild and passionate sex with a beautiful dark woman.

Here's Lauri's interpretation:

Gender bending is super common in dreams because it's not so much about the actual genitalia, but rather about what the genitalia represent.
Gender bending is super common in dreams.
To the dreaming mind, a penis is not a penis, but rather your ability to be assertive, to 'be firm,' to 'stand up' for yourself... to 'man up,' so to speak. And a vagina is your ability to be nurturing, to be creative and 'give birth' to new ideas. In your dream, you not only have a penis, but you also masturbate and have sex with it. This tells me you have been putting your assertive energy to good use lately. Masturbating tells me you are pleased with yourself, and having sex with a beautiful woman suggests you are also finding a good balance with your feminine qualities, meaning you are tough and assertive when you need to be, yet gentle and nurturing and creative when you want. The passion in your dream makes me think this all has to with some project or endeavor you are very passionate about. Your assertiveness will surely get you where you want to go, so I say stay 'firm' in your resolve and keep it 'up!' (Tee hee hee.)
To the dreaming mind, a penis is not a penis, but rather your ability to be assertive, to 'be firm.'

I hope this was helpful to Sophia and anyone else who has had a gender bending sex dream.

According to Lauri, there's a lot of you out there. Personally, I haven't had a dream like this, but I can imagine how it would be confusing.

But the good news is: YOU'RE NORMAL. In fact, according to Lauri, you're not just "normal," you're THRIVING. So keep doing you, homie.

Have your own sex dream you'd like Lauri to interpret? Email it over to us at

*Name has been changed.