The Reason Guys Want To Make You Orgasm Isn't About You

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Leave it to men to think that a female orgasm is all about them. 

A study published in The Journal of Sex Research revealed that men DO care if a woman orgasms or not, but it's not exactly for the reasons we might all think (or hope for). 

Sure, extensive research has shown that the female orgasm is tricky, to say the least. Whereas men can almost always count on a big O during intercourse, only 63 percent of women are able to finish, even if sleeping with a familiar partner.

There are also, like, SO MANY different ways for a woman to get off, and only one variation includes straight up vaginal penetration.

It makes sense, then, that men might have some insecurities around pleasing their female partners, but if you think it's because they only care about making you feel good, think again.

Researchers found that men are most concerned about making a woman orgasm to prove their own masculinity, and that's about it.

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According to Medical Daily, by "giving" a woman an orgasm, men feel they are demonstrating their manliness and claiming responsibility for something that actually involves at least two people.

The study also revealed that men with this point of view are more likely to adhere to traditional gender roles and less likely to accept feedback or input from their lady partners, as it might hurt their masculinity.

Study authors Sara B. Chadwick and Sari van Anders told PsyPost,

For these men, [who see female orgasms as a sign of masculinity] women's orgasm is actually about the men feeling good about their masculinity. This could explain why some men feel pressured to 'give' women orgasms. And, it could explain why some women fake orgasms, i.e., to protect men's feelings.

Ah yes, the male ego. So delicate, so fragile. So much more important that a woman protects a man's sexual insecurities than tend to her own pleasure first.

For the study, 810 men around age 25 filled out a survey about their opinions on stereotypical gender roles, their investment in pleasuring their partner and how secure they feel in their masculinity.

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While the researchers hoped they would find that men viewed women's orgasms to be less of a commentary on their personal performances and more of a shared sexual experience, the participants clearly had themselves in mind.

The authors said,

Women's orgasms should be experienced – when they are wanted – as a wonderful part of sexuality, not as something men give to women as an example of their prowess. Cultural ideas about masculinity push many men to feel like they need to live up to certain ideals, and this ends up being bad for sexual pleasure.

To be fair, it's understandable that men and women feel responsible for pleasing their partners in bed, but as the study authors suggest, if we can look at sex as a combined effort and not as a contest, it will be more pleasurable and rewarding for everyone.

Citations: Men View Female Orgasm As Sign Of Their Masculinity, But This Could Stop Them From Taking Feedback (Medical Daily), Men view women's orgasms as a masculinity achievement, study finds (PsyPost)