People Are Tweeting About How To Make Sex Awkward, And It's About To Get Weird
Do you remember the first time you had sex?
You know, that long-awaited moment of release, filled with an undeniable amount of awkwardnesses because, frankly, no one knew what the fuck they were doing?
Well, it's been a while since I first swiped my V-card, and let me tell you something: Despite having more experience, sex is still pretty damn awkward.
Things are said, noises are made and body parts are positioned in ways that just don't make sense. There are few rules in this live-action, ultra-sweaty game of Twister, which always makes for an interesting time.
As if things weren't already uncomfortable, people took to Twitter, using the hashtag #MakeSexAwkwardIn5Words, to say the things that would really turn a bedroom encounter on its head.
Get ready because things are about to get weird really fast:
I'm not sure if it's the handcuffs or the abundance of penis around me that's making me feel this way.
Can I pay in rolls of pennies?
Great, I just invited my entire fantasy league.
Wait, is it a school night?
And the circle of life continues.
I told you I had some pretty unique hobbies.
This is a surefire way to make things weird... and get punched square in the dick.
Actually, the only adjective I want to hear when describing my dong is "gargantuan."
I'd prefer to keep any advice from my parents outside the bedroom.
Oh, will there be a pop quiz on this later?
It's OK. Everyone fucks at least one creepy asshole in their lifetime.
Congrats, you just earned yourself a free turkey!
Sorry, I must have interpreted your snores as moans.
A chicken burrito was a bad choice.
Sorry, I'm pretty bad with directions.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to put my clothes back on and run away now.
This is why I think it's so much easier to just watch porn and masturbate.
Don't you agree?