What To Do When A Guy Who Played Games Shows Real Interest, According To A Gay Man
I've been interested in a guy who has just been playing games with me, and now that I'm over him, he seems to be showing interest back. Should I give in?
- Michael, 22, gay
Games? This guy already sounds like he's still in kindergarten, which is immediately turning me off.
I don't know how you feel, but anyone who finds the need to fuck around with someone's emotions instead of getting straight to the point isn't worthy of your time.
You aren't children anymore.
If you've been clearly showing how much you like him, and he's decided to prance around that fact, then fuck him. Move on, flirt with other guys and find someone who is mature enough to skip over the games and get straight to the action.
It's unfair to you to hold out for this guy or even allow him to have the kind of control over you that'd make you come running back the second he seems to like you back.
You gave him the chance already, and you don't owe him anything anymore.
You gave him the chance already, and you don't owe him anything anymore.
Even if toying with you was his way of flirting back, that doesn't justify him carrying on for so long without showing he likes you, too.
Instead, it sounds like he just strung you along.
I'm not sure where he stands in your life, but in the romantic sense, it sounds like he's bad news.
Find someone who values time spent with you and doesn't beat around the bush. You definitely deserve someone better than this dud.
How long should you wait before asking a guy the dreaded 'what are we doing?' question after you've been hanging out for a while?
- Richie, 23, gay
This situation could roll on a case-by-case basis, but if you're hooking up with a guy, and you feel like things are going in a more serious direction, it's better to ask now before you get too invested.
I've been in too many scenarios where it's the fifth or sixth date, a guy continues to shower me with affection and then, all of a sudden, he gives up.
It's reached a point where we see each other weekly, and he's met my friends (things that constitute something more than a hookup), but before you know it, he's ready to jump ship.
I never asked "what are we doing?" because I never got the chance to. And then, I just got burned in the process.
Don't make the same mistake I did.
If you feel like you're really interested in this person, and you haven't established what you were doing beforehand, go ahead and ask when you feel like things are getting comfortable.
I don't think there's a set number of dates you need to wait before asking "what are we?" It all depends on how often you hang out, communicate and how much you value your time together.
It all depends on how often you hang out, communicate and how much you value your time together.
As you're clearly curious about the answer to question, it kind of points to signs that you are developing feelings and are at a point where knowing the answer would really put you at ease.
If time spent with your clothes on is just as enjoyable as time spent with your clothes off, you're probably ready to drift toward the direction of something a little more serious. Set up time to talk about it.
Even if you think throwing that question around may feel awkward, it's better that you know what this guy wants ahead of time before you go falling for him.
Remember, there's no safety net at the bottom if you hit the ground.
