Millennials of the world, I have a question: Do any of us, like, actually LIKE sexting? Is it really that fun? Is it even sexy?
I tried it maybe twice in my life. One time, I wrapped myself up naked in bedsheets at a bachelorette party in Las Vegas and Snapchatted my BF a picture in a big mirror.
He responded with, "Lol," which I took as a solid three out of five stars rating.
The second time, I texted him, "We can have sex until the cows cum home." GET IT?! Well, all I received was silence, and then, three hours later, he sent a text asking me if I fed my dog.
I've since retired to my usual texting regime of typing grocery lists and pictures of people who fell asleep on the train.
But thankfully, the hilarious sexting fails of these people below made me feel a whole lot better about the "LOL" thing:
At least I used the English language in my scenario. This guy didn't even get that far.
This person took advantage of a drunk person, which, under any other circumstances, would NOT be OK. But in this case....
At least SOME PEOPLE have their priorities straight here.
At night, everyone say a prayer of thanks that they didn't bring up their dad during a sexting convo, like these gems of humans did.
And at least you didn't bring up your mom either.
If you're going to text the wrong person, at least make it someone with a healthy sense of humor, like this guy.
These people literally got what they asked for.
Of course, you have to admire folks who commit to making the moment sexy no matter what the moment is.
And then there are others who just call sexy like they see sexy.
Alas, for some, the message just gets away from them entirely.
But, if you guys are looking for some great cow and/or cum one-liners just to get the ball rolling, you know you can always CUM to me.
Sorry bye sorry bye sorry bye.