It's that blessed time of year, ladies and gentlemen. Once again, we're on the cusp of the wonderful new year, which can only mean one thing: all that "New year, new me" bullsh*t is flooding our news feeds with the stupid-ass affirmations of the basics.
We're all guilty of it, aren't we? With 2016 right around the corner, we're all making lame resolutions that we have no real intention of keeping. Those resolutions are stupid AF to begin with -- let alone to follow. And they are hard.
But they don't have to be. Resolutions can be fun. So let's be a little more realistic with what we should try this year: having a more adventurous sex life.
Welcome to Auntie Gigi's Sex Corner, where you all come to learn about dirty-ass stuff. I talked to some horny Millennials and (probably also horny) sex experts to get the lowdown on what to try between the sheets this year.
This year, don't join a gym and forget to actually go. Don't plan to eat healthily and then binge on pizza. Don't promise to quit drinking and then down shots like a lush. We all know you're not going to do any of those mediocre things, anyway.
Instead, let's make 2016 about better, kinkier, dirtier sex.
Here are 16 sex positions, tips and tricks you should resolve to try in 2016:
This year, resolve to let yourself get tied up. A little leather, spanking or handcuffs could be just the thing you need to loosen and heat up your sex life.
Bondage is a great way to explore your sexual boundaries. Evan, 26, says:
It looks interesting and different. There is something exciting about being in control at times and then having it taken away.
Sheena, 23, also finds the power dynamic involved very arousing.
"It's a TOTAL power move, and I want to have pure control, and [to] control my own orgasm.”
If you're a shy girl who wants to take control in the bedroom, check this out (You know you want to).
2. Grab him by the balls
Let's get tantric, ya dig?
A fun, unexpected trick for more intense sex is a good ol' ball massage during sex. While on top, reach down, and massage your boyfriend's sack.
Don't be too aggressive with it. No one wants to cause both physical and emotional scarring. But a gentle, rhythmic motion will be intense and surprising for him.
Not to mention you've got your man, literally, by the balls.
3. Role play
Role play doesn't have to be scary. As Olive, 29, says, it can be fun to take on a different identity for the night.
I like the idea of being someone different...but with a partner you already trust.
You can be as tame or ballsy as you'd like. It's a chance for you and your partner to indulge in fantasies that you've been curious to explore.
It's the age-old question: Licking butthole, yuck or yum?
YUM. If one sex thing was the shining star of 2015, it was eating the booty. In 2016, resolve to actually try it. It's great, I promise.
If you're ever going to have a threesome, now is the time. You're young, wild and experimental.
A couple of things to consider: It's usually better to be a guest star than part of the couple involved.
If you are a part of the couple involved, make sure the guest star is NOT a friend or someone you know. If it gets weird...well, it's about making memories.
It takes a strong man to venture into the world of pegging, but if you find one who is willing to explore this naughty, taboo and totally hot sexual act, never let him go.
If you're not sure what pegging is, click here.
Pegging got some mainstream attention in 2015, when Ilana of "Broad City" interrupted her grandmother's shiva to congratulate Abbi on pegging.
Niki, 27, says:
Every woman should explore the bounds of her sexual appetite. Trying anal at least once won't kill me…I hope.
7. Reverse cowgirl
Reverse cowgirl is a spicy take on classic cowgirl. Instead of just going with plain girl-on-top, swivel around so your back is to your partner while you ride.
It's a fantastic visual experience for him and an all-access pass to your clit and his balls.
8. Porn with your partner
Watching porn with your boyfriend or girlfriend is an awesome way to get ideas for your sex life. It's like a sexy cog to get the creative wheels in your brain turning.
Lorrae Bradbury, sexpert and founder of the sex positive site Slutty Girl Problems, tells Elite Daily:
Watching porn together can help you both get turned on and channel your inner porn star. You might even discover a new fantasy you didn't realize you (or your partner) had!
Watching porn together will NOT ruin your relationship. Don't listen to the hoopla. It's healthy to watch porn with your partner. Go figure.
9. Flavored lube
Give the gift of ultimate blowjobs. We all know it can be annoying and a hassle, so give your man better head without feeling the stress. I recommend Good Head in mint. Serious life-changing stuff. Seriously.
I’m going to warn you, though, that flavored lube is for blowjob use only. Don't go using that sh*t for sex, or you'll be on your way to a first-class yeast infection (you feel me?).
NO SEX WITH FLAVORED LUBE.
10. Prostate ~stimulation~
What, what, in the butt? Your finger, that is.
Use your finger to stimulate your boyfriend's G-spot. It may be unusual, but hey, why not? It is sure to make his orgasm astronomically more intense.
And if you're going to try butt stuff, he should be on the receiving end as well.
11. Ice cube
Place an ice cube in your mouth for both blowjobs and cunnilingus. The cold sensation is a fantastic way to get those sensory buds blasting off the radar.
Who knew something so cold could be so f*cking hot?
Ladies, be adventurous, and give the gift of anal this holiday season. Here are 11 completely legit reasons why.
13. Nipple stimulation
Nipples never get enough love. Make your 2016 resolution to pay attention to your partner's nipples, and we'll all have a happy new year.
Boys, when you're giving your lady some oral attention, reach up and twist her nipples. She will thank you for it.
14. The dick dildo
Ladies, grab your boyfriend's dick and use that bad sucker to rub your clit. It's fantastic foreplay for both of you.
You get to use his penis as your own personal sex toy while taking control, and he gets to watch you squirm. Can I get an amen?
15. The coital alignment technique
Bradbury tells us that this is a must-do for 2016 because of its amazing clitoral stimulation.
According to Bradbury:
To do it, get into missionary position, and have your partner rest on his forearms, elbows, thighs and upper knees, slightly laying on your body. He should maintain as much body contact with you as is comfortably possible, without crushing you. Then, he should slide his body upwards toward your head and body, aligning his pelvis with yours, and keeping his hips at a downward angle, so that base of his penis rubs against your clitoris.
Sign me up, please!
16. TOY, TOYS, TOYS!
Some guys think that bringing toys into the bedroom is somehow a threat to their ~manhood~.
I think all of you guys should stop being a bunch of pussies and bring some fun ass toys into your sex life.
Bradbury tells Elite Daily:
You can start simple with a small clitoral vibrator, silk scarves for sensation or a blindfold to up your excitement. Even simple toys can have a huge impact on your excitement, sensation, and pleasure.
2016 is your year, people. Let's play.