How You're Sabotaging Your Relationship
Relationships are hard work... especially long-term ones. Once you hit the two-year mark – although it could be more or less for some people – you're pretty much out of the "honeymoon" period. You may naturally start hitting a few bumps along the road.
Now, it's pretty much common knowledge no relationship is perfect... no matter what filter it has on Instagram. Problems arise, arguments happen and sometimes, you may even experience doubts.
However, that is no reason to throw in the towel. Just because you've come across some conflicts in your relationship, that doesn't mean something is seriously wrong.
Relationships are like most things in life: You have to work at them to strengthen them. You can't just let them fall by the wayside because neglecting your relationship can be the first step toward it going south.
If you find yourself going through a "rough patch" with your significant other at the moment, take a minute to read if you may be doing any of these five things. You may be sabotaging your relationship without even realizing it:
1. You're only focusing on what's wrong .
You can pick apart the flaws in your relationship all you want. However, all this does is feed your innate desire to constantly "fix" things.
No relationship is ever sunshine and rainbows all the time. But if it's not truly broken, why waste your time worrying about how to fix it?
Accept the fact that you both have your flaws because finding a partner without flaws is impracticably impossible. Stop putting all your efforts into getting rid of these flaws, and try embracing them instead.
2. You don't embrace change.
No matter whether you've been in a relationship for six months or six years, you'll experience change of some sort. It'll kind of throw out the dynamics of the relationship.
It could be a new job for you, or a difficult time for your SO. Undoubtedly, these things will put the relationship out of sync.
However, you can't expect things to always stay the same: That's not the way life goes.
You have to choose whether to grow with the change or get stuck in the past.
3. You have unrealistic expectations.
We've been brought up on romantic comedies, Disney princesses and the idea of the perfect relationship. These types of films fill us with the idea that arguments end with kisses in the rain.
We think we'll constantly be in a euphoric state of love. However, let's get real here: There will be times in your relationship when you won't be feeling affectionate or romantic. Other times, you might find yourself getting a bit too comfortable.
However, that is perfectly normal: It's not always going to be romance and flowers every day. But when it is, take your time to truly appreciate those moments.
4. You say "sorry" too much.
Yes, you can apologize too much.
A quick way to resolve most arguments is to just say "sorry" and move on. But sometimes, a "sorry" isn't quite enough to fully resolve and satisfy the reasoning behind the argument in the first place.
As uncomfortable as arguments with your partner can be, sometimes, you really need to talk it out in order to properly resolve an issue.
Don't just say "sorry" for the sake of it, in order to avoid this uncomfortableness. You'll soon find your problems are simply going unresolved.
5. You don't embrace your differences.
To a certain degree in any relationship, you do need to agree on most values and beliefs. However, just like you're entitled to your own opinions, so is your partner.
There will be times when you both won't agree on everything, but that's no reason to become hostile and defensive.
A difference in opinion is what keeps a relationship interesting. It's good to be challenged.