The Uncomfortable Pain Of Having Your Parents And SO Actively Hate One Another


Every living person has had a relationship in which his or her parents and partner just don't get along. It's not to say these relationships are destined to fail or that you shouldn't follow your heart, but you should be aware you ARE choosing the more difficult road for your romantic future.


If you're positive this person is the one and all the difficulties will be worth it, here are four things you'll need to be prepared for:

1. You'll have to go to all your family events solo.

At some point, you'll have to admit to yourself the whole “forcing them to be civil” thing just isn't working out. I mean, sure: They might play nice when they're face-to-face, but the aftermath is exhausting.

You know... the texts from your 'rents telling you how awful your SO is, followed by your partner whining about your parents' antics. This means eventually, you'll have to do all your family time solo.

And super fortunately for you, you'll get to explain why your SO isn't around every Thanksgiving, anniversary dinner and birthday. If trying to maintain a smile on your face when shit gets awkward is your thing, you'll be in heaven.

2. You'll wonder if you're just going crazy.

There's a reason you stay with your partner.... right?

But when you spend time with your family, they suddenly make you doubt everything you've ever come to conclusions on.

Maybe your parents are just too harsh. But are they?


Maintaining your “separate but equal” mentality used to be your forte. But the more time you spend doing it, the more conflicting it seems to be.

You love and adore your SO, but your family makes you doubt the relationship. Your family has been nothing but loving and supportive, but your SO wants you to see otherwise.

And you'll eventually just start feeling like you're going insane.

Being in a relationship where some of the most important people in your life are at odds means you constantly second-guess every choice you've made.

3. You'll constantly be thinking about the future.

Can you hold this up forever? Is being with your SO worth the tension? Will the bridge finally mend?

When your family and your partner don't get along, you don't have the luxury of thinking about your perfect wedding. You're more likely to be thinking about how you'll tell your family you're engaged, and if they'll support you. You might also wonder if your SO will even want your family to be involved in your futures together.

You'll have to think about how to maintain the peace when you ACTUALLY should be thinking and daydreaming about your future.

What is your forever going to look like if the two most important camps in your life are constantly at war? And is this relationship worth the worst possible scenario?

4. Your friends' normal relationships will make you envious.

You get to see how normal couples do it.

Your BFF's boyfriend is off playing golf with her dad. Your co-worker's girlfriend went Easter shopping with his mom.

And you're not experiencing any of that fun stuff. You'll see nothing but green, longing, resentfulness envy. Why can't your partner and family just get along like that?

Your friends seem to manage everything with such ease and grace, which will make you feel like you're doing this whole relationship thing wrong. Seeing families interact with one another with no awkward tension will make you long for an uncertain future.

If your parents and partner just don't get along, you shouldn't ditch the relationship on principle. But you DO need to be prepared for these very uncomfortable situations.