Vera Lair

How To Own Being The Only Single Girl In Your Friend Group

By
Share

There are two special times in every girl's life: when she falls in love for the first time and when everyone else is in love besides her.

If you have a pulse, you likely feel as if you're continuously stuck in the latter group — always the third wheel and never the first two wheels... or something...

For me, whenever everyone else is shacked up, it can be difficult to see the faults in your friends' relationships and much easier to focus on how alone you are — even if you wouldn't want the relationships your friends are in anyway.

If you're the single girl in your group, here are a few ways you can rock being the shiny unicorn:

Consider your standards.

Is it about being in a relationship or is it about finding your person?

If it was SOOooOO important to you to find a boyfriend, trust me, you would. You are a hot piece of ass (and intelligence!), and there are actually millions of men out there who would date you.

Though you might feel like you are looking for your Mr. Someone (and that everyone else has already found Mr. Somebody Else), it could be that you have actual, true standards and are blind to the well of mediocrity you COULD date if you wanted to.

Capitalize on group get-togethers.

All of your girlfriends have boyfriends, you say? Well, those guys MUST have friends, right?

Try to lean into group activities, rather than resent them, and make yourself the life of the party.

Everyone loves a single girl with a party attitude (including your coupled-up amigas), and this is a great time to meet guys who have the seal of approval from your friends.

It takes away the creep factor of prowling the bars at night and also adds the nice, organic element of meeting someone IRL, rather than online or on an app.

You might be tempted to stay in on Scattergories night if you feel you don't have a Pictionary partner, but put on some deodorant and make it happen.

You might have awesome board game chemistry with your rando partner.

"Eat Pray Love" the situation.

No plans on the weekend because everyone is busy Netflix and chilling? Double down on YOU time.

Plan a weekend getaway for yourself or make plans to FINALLY start that project you've never gotten around to. Want to start a blog? Take a baking class? Read a new book? Join a gym? Open up an Etsy shop? Whatever. Now's the time.

The more you invest in yourself, the more confident you'll become, the more attractive you'll be to everyone else and the more choices you'll have in dating (if you want to!) or staying the single sassy ball of fire you are.

There really is something to that whole "you can't love someone else until you love yourself first." Make that your mantra, and date yourself, sister.

Have weird (safe) sex with a stranger.

As wonderful as it is to be in love, if you used to daydream about having sex with a much older man whom you meet at dive bar and later find out is a famous author and will maybe fly you to Aruba to be his date to a fancy party, kiss that dream goodbye because you're coupled up now.

Once you find your person, that's it.

Take this time to get all the "mistakes" out. Sleep with people you would never actually date, date people you would never actually sleep with, let millions of men buy you dinner and eat all the free breadsticks you want.

Don't let yourself think this kind of behavior is sad, manipulative or "all over the place." You're just getting yours while the getting's good.

As long as you are safe and protect your body and heart, I say go do literally whatever you want with whomever you want whenever you want.

Be there for your friends when they need you.

As tempting as it might be to give your girlfriends the cold shoulder when they suddenly need you, it is much more rewarding to be the kind of shoulder to cry on you always were from the beginning.

Let them bitch about their boyfriends, and let them share their exciting moments with you. Try to remember you're friends for a reason, and while maybe you don't understand what they're going through (or they're being selfish assholes), take the high road.

Honeymoon phases end for everyone, and when they do, your gal pal will be banging on your door for mimosas and to hear the story about the old-man author you hooked up with that one night.

Remember, you're the unicorn. You're special. You're unique. And not just anyone can have you.